Crowded Elevator
by Tanny-san
Summary: SeiferXHayner. A rivalry started with a few words leads all the way up to tension in the elevator. Molten sexual tension, that is. Updated with chapter 8.
1. Crowded Elevator

**A/N: **Well, this was supposed to be a one shot, but three thousand words later I figured I'd cut it into two or three parts. I'm not sure just how long it will be. Anyway, I figured that there just really weren't enough SxH fanfics, and even though I'm a pretty shit writer, I thought I'd contribute.

So obviously this is yaoi, so if you don't like, don't read. I also don't own Kingdom Hearts or the Final Fantasy series. Duh. But on with the story.

* * *

_**Crowded Elevator**_

There are laws in the world which should not be broken. There is also quite a delicate balance between opposites, a balance that, if broken, can cause a bit of chaos to break loose in the world. It is evident, however, that because of the semi-chaotic state of the world, these laws and balances are frequently put to the test and broken.

This is where Seifer Almasy and Hayner Aldaine come into play.

It was simple enough; they were rivals – they hated each other. Seifer hated Hayner. Hayner hated Seifer. All was good in the world.

Hayner supposed that it began back when Seifer first moved into apartment 1204, two doors down from where he lived with his own family. Hayner remembered being excited, because he'd heard that a new kid was moving to downtown from the Sunset Hill area.

Hayner had been ten years old. He was a nice kid, though on the verge of becoming a bit troublesome – he was mischievous, and most of the time the annoying pranks played on his parents or classmates could fall on the shoulders of Hayner and his friend Pence.

He was still innocent enough – girls still kinda had cooties, though that one girl, Olette, seemed to be pretty cool. Really, he was innocent enough to totally not expect the new kid to be such an (not that he was supposed to use the word at the time) asshole.

The little blond haired boy had curiously poked his head out of the door to his own apartment, watching with interest as boxes were loaded into 1204. He stepped out of his home, closing the door behind him, and walked as casually as he could down to the other apartment (inside he was kinda nervous about meeting this new kid).

He was just about to knock on the door when it burst open with such a powerful force that Hayner was thrown backward, landing square on his ass.

"Ow!" He yelped, rubbing his sore backside, standing and wincing. Who was so p.o.'ed that they felt the need to practically break a door when they opened it?!

Hayner looked up, and laid eyes, for the first time, on one Seifer Almasy.

The first thought that Hayner had, while looking up into those cold blue eyes, was that this kid obviously something up his butt. He wore a black zip up vest and jeans, and his face was set in a scowl of annoyance. His light blond hair did little to take away how intimidating he looked.

"Watch where you're standing, punk." Seifer said, eyeing Hayner as if he were some sort of rat or something.

Hayner was not about to be outdone.

"Why don't you try not being a jerk?! You're the one who freaking rammed the door open!" the brown-eyed boy fired back, now standing with one fist clenched and the other hand still rubbing his tail bone.

That fall had really hurt.

The other boy's frown deepened, and inwardly, Hayner gulped.

"What the fuck do you know, lamer? Who the hell do you think you are?" he said, taking a step towards Hayner, who instantly took a step back. This boy had a mouth. Hayner was definitely not supposed to use those words.

After all, he was only ten. That and his mom was a little paranoid about these things. But he was, and always would be, determined not to let this kid walk all over him. Naughty language or no.

"I'm Hayner Aldaine, and I don't care about what I don't know or whatever the hell you're talking about," he said, the cursing making him slightly more brave. "But I do know that you suck. I was just trying to meet you 'cause you were the new kid. But I guess there's nothing to really _want_ to meet." Hayner scoffed, turning around to leave.

"You little chicken-wuss!" Seifer yelled, immediately shoving the other boy with all his might to the ground and pouncing on him. They were wrestling and hitting, gaining scratches and bruises and pissing each other off more and more.

And that's how their parents found them.

So they'd both been grounded and gotten in trouble, but neither boy made the required apology to the other.

And, Hayner supposed, that was how it was supposed to be. From the moment they met, there had been animosity, then a fight. It was how it would always be.

At least, that's what they both thought.

Seifer had to admit, if only to himself (and never to anyone else, least of all _chicken-wuss_), that he had a grudging respect for Hayner. After all, no one had ever really stood up to Seifer before – at least not without getting their ass handed to them. And the blond Aldaine boy had put up a pretty good fight before they were wrenched apart by their dads.

But in the present, they still hated each other with a passion.

Except there was this strange thing that happened sometime around when they were both twelve to thirteen, where voices started breaking, their boy parts started doing funny things, and their thoughts turned slightly more interested in sex and what they knew of it.

With two apartments between them, each boy watched the same late night TV that they _definitely _weren't supposed to be watching... Hayner's mom had flipped out when she caught him watching two people making out and grinding against each other (she, for some reason, just couldn't get it out of her head that Hayner was still just a child), but Seifer's parents didn't make much of a big deal about it.

_Really, he's only going to find out anyway._

So Seifer got 'the talk' first. And a few days later, he learned what the word 'fuck' _actually_ meant.

Needless to say, he flaunted his new found knowledge like he was the master of all things sex, especially in front of Hayner and his friends Pence and Olette.

He and Hayner had been having an impromptu struggle, when Seifer, with his slightly bulkier body, pinned Hayner on the ground. Hayner pushed his struggle bat against the other boy's weapon as hard as he could, but the weight was just too much for him. Seifer jumped up and smacked the other boy in the stomach with his bat, before holding it over Hayner's head in a victory stance.

"I win, lamer," he smirked, relishing in yet another victory over the annoying blond. "Why don't you go cry to you're girlfriend so she'll fuck you again?"

Olette had immediately turned bright red, and Pence had coughed. Rai and Fuu snickered (they were the only people just as bitchy and sucky as Seifer was), and Hayner just felt clueless. He had no idea what 'fuck' really meant. It was a verb? What?

He rolled over, refusing to clutch his stomach from that totally uncalled for blow, and slowly got to his feet, glaring at the boy whose blond hair was now covered by a beanie.

"Olette's not my girlfriend, asshole. And why don't you go _fuck_ yourself!" Hayner shouted determinedly, trying to kill Seifer with his glare.

Seifer and his little gang just started laughing.

"I bet you don't even know what 'fuck' means, shrimp. You're such a fucking idiot," Seifer smirked, laughing in Hayner's face.

No matter how hard he had tried to prevent it, Hayner was blushing. Because, _no_, he didn't know what 'fuck' meant.

"Of course I know what 'fuck' means, you jerk!" Hayner shouted, hoping the other wouldn't call his bluff. Everyone knew that Hayner's parents, especially his mom, kind of... kept him... well, sheltered was the nice word.

He couldn't help it if his mom still thought he was four, and that her delusions were slowly getting worse.

"Oh really," Seifer drawled, his smirk growing even wider, "Tell us then, please. I think we could all use a little reminder."

After a painful silence, Hayner opened his mouth to retort something that was probably going to make him sound like an idiot, but Pence came to the rescue.

"He doesn't have to prove anything to you, Seifer," he said, gripping Hayner's arm. "Let's just get out of here, Hayner," he whispered to his friend, and then more loudly, "Olette, let's go."

Seifer scowled, angry that his fun was leaving him, and called out baitingly, "Or maybe you should go fuck your _boyfriend_ instead! I didn't know you swung that way, lamer!"

Pence had to forcibly drag Hayner back to their usual spot.

"Hey, Olette... Would you mind getting us some ice cream? I'll pay, but Hayner and I need to _talk_." Pence said, handing Olette some munny.

The shorter dark haired boy turned to his friend, and putting it as bluntly as possible, told him that 'fuck' was a crude term for 'having sex.'

"Sex?" Hayner asked, blushing.

"Yup," Pence nodded, "Sex."

The blond hesitated with his next question, but figured if he was going to ask anyone, it might as well be Pence.

"Hey, dude... You know how my parents are and stuff. So... Don't laugh at me! But, um... How does sex work?"

Pence almost went cross-eyed. Geeze! Talk about an awkward conversation... The brunet _knew_ Hayner's parents were over-protective, but this was ridiculous. He was twelve years old!

"Er... Um, okay. I guess I can explain. You know the difference between boys and girls, right?"

Hayner rolled his eyes.

"I'm not _stupid_, Pence. I just don't know some things."

Pence decided not to make a joke about how those were practically the same thing.

"Alright," Pence said, thinking of how to best word his next sentence. "Well... you know how girls have like... umm... a _hole_ down there?" Pence asked, gesturing to his own crotch area.

"Uh... yeah." Hayner said, going along with whatever Pence was saying. What kind of hole it was, he didn't really know.

"Well in sex – and it's supposed to like, feel really good, so hear me out – a guy takes his dick and puts it in that hole."

Hayner didn't really know how to react. But several really awkard questions later, he got the gist of it.

But here was the thing... By his thirteenth birthday, Hayner wasn't so sure he liked the idea of sex with girls. They didn't really do anything for him, and he noticed that when he was, you know, playing with himself, that he wasn't thinking of _girls_ in particular.

What was kind of weird was that he was starting to think of guys more often. And he started noticing guys more often. Not to mention that when he was in close proximity with an especially attractive guy, there was an inexplicable blush that stained his cheeks.

Needless to say, Hayner just told people that he'd developed some kind of heat sensitivity, and that the blush was just part of that.

Not that anyone believed him.

That wasn't the worst part, though. The worst was that _Seifer_ was attractive. And Hayner knew it. Hell, having to follow the asshole home from school everyday was enough to let Hayner know that Seifer had a nice ass, and was developing a great body.

The _very_ worst, though, was when they both caught the elevator up to the twelfth floor at the same time. Hayner just forced himself to look straight ahead, trying and failing to ignore anything and everything that Seifer did or said. Despite his efforts, anything and everything Seifer said just pissed him off, got him riled up, made his stomach do flip-flops.

And unfortunately, Seifer never seemed to leave him alone. In fact, the older they got, the more determined Seifer was to annoy the shit out of the kid that lived two doors down from him.

The light blond haired boy would do evil shit to Hayner. Like hiding the spare key to Hayner's apartment in a different place, then swiping Hayner's keys at school when the other boy wasn't looking. Or turning Hayner's backpack inside out when the other boy left class, then putting all his books in it and zipping it up. Sometimes those books got their pages glued together.

It really seemed like Seifer went out of his way just to tick Hayner off.

And it worked like a fucking charm.

_What the hell is his problem? _Fifteen year old Hayner thought, peeling the stickers that spelled out 'lamer' off his locker. _He just won't leave me the fuck alone._

It really was as if the somewhat older boy was just straight up targeting Hayner. He had been for quite sometime, really. Ever since they met.

Hayner wasn't one to just take that kind of shit, however. So there were struggle challenges started occasionally, beginning with Hayner bonking the older boy on the head, and once at lunch Hayner managed to switch Seifer's daily glass of milk with watered down glue. **That **had been _priceless_.

But those damn elevator rides were always full of taunts. Sometimes they ended up in a small shoving match, before the elevator would finally come to a halt on their floor, and they each would huff away, steaming, to their respective apartments.

One day it was especially bad. Lines were crossed that shouldn't have been.

"Have fun in your little three way today at school? I saw you and your two idiots wander off right when the lunch bell rang. Really, it's so fucking gross. Doing that at school, you fucking disgust me," Seifer scoffed arrogantly. "Someone really ought to kick your ass for that."

Hayner's guard was immediately up. He was also immediately pissed off.

"You're the fucking gross one, you psycho. We were actually peeling off those god damn stickers you left on my locker," Hayner turned to glare at the boy next to him. "What's your fucking problem, anyway? You're always pulling shit like that on me."

Seifer didn't even look at him.

"You just need to be reminded of how much you suck. Like right now, you're getting all cocky, trying to confront me." Now Seifer did look at him, smirking. "Bwave wittle Hay-ner, sticking up for his chicken-ass self. Run to mommy now, she'll give you a cookie, and the spankings you like so much. Oh, but wait, she's too busy trying to get you back into diapers to even give a shit about your life."

Hayner flushed, and his fists clenched tightly. His mom's delusions about Hayner still being a young child were nothing to joke about. She was getting help for it; right now she was in the hospital for her psychosis.

That was a really low blow Seifer had just taken.

Hayner turned around, and his fist flew, nailing the older, more built boy in the gut. He was probably going to get his ass kicked – no matter how much he didn't want to admit it, he was definitely the smaller of the two – but the jackass had deserved it.

Seifer slammed the 'stop' button on the elevator, clutching his stomach with one hand and grabbing Hayner's collar the next.

"Let go of me, you fucking freak!" Hayner yelled, his eyes wide as he took in the snarl on the other boy's face.

"Fuck you! You piss me off so fucking much!" Seifer bit out in return, his voice lower than usual, but it held the same intensity as Hayner's yell. He had Hayner pinned up against the door of the elevator, crushing him into it with all his weight.

Despite his rage, and his absolute hatred for the dirtbag pinning him, Hayner blushed. The full on contact, and in fact the entire situation, was making him hot. He didn't even want to know why.

But Seifer was turning him on.

He reacted fast, trying to push the beanie wearing boy off him, shoving as hard as he could, attempting to use the elevator door as leverage. But no matter how fucking hard he pushed, the jerk never wavered.

Seifer's snarl never left his face, but Hayner didn't miss the change in his eyes. Those ice blue eyes glazed over, and then they weren't looking in Hayner's eyes anymore, but at his mouth.

And suddenly Seifer's mouth was crushed on Hayner's.

Oh, fuck.

His first kiss wasn't sweet or chaste. It wasn't even passionate. It was sloppy, with teeth gnashing, and each boy literally trying to devour the other. As lips pressed together roughly, and tongues pushed their way into mouths, the kiss grew more controlled but no less chaotic. Hands gripped with strength enough to bruise, and tongues fought. Each boy kissed back as hard as the other, neither giving but both taking. They shoved each other around, never ceasing their kiss, but fighting to pin the other up against the walls. When Seifer rammed Hayner up against the wall opposite the elevator door, Hayner gave in, digging his fingers into Seifer's sides as he held on and ground his hips against the other boy.

He didn't know if he was really all that surprised when the blue eyed boy returned the motion, one hand slipping up from where he'd held Hayner's arms to grip the hair on the back of the boy's head, yanking on it to expose his neck.

Seifer's tongue and mouth licked hot, wet trails up from Hayner's collarbone to his ear, which Seifer bit with just enough force to make the other boy cry out. Both boys refused to moan, but the intensity of what they were doing made it harder and harder not to make noise.

Hayner was so turned on that he knew either he – or, considering their situation, Seifer – would eventually have to do something about it. So with his next move, he jerked his hips especially hard, yanking his arm from Seifer's grasp and slamming the older boy up against another wall. Hayner looked at the other blond with a predatory gleam, ready to pounce on him.

And pounce he did. But at that moment, as they hit the walls again, they banged against the elevator's buttons, opening the doors, allowing cold air to explode into the heat that the two boys had created.

Their kissing stopped, and Hayner shoved Seifer away, suddenly aware of everything that was going on and just how _fucked up_ it was. He dragged his forearm across his mouth to clear away the saliva that had gathered there.

The brown eyed boy panted, gasping for air, as Seifer turned away from him, yanking off his beanie and running a hand through his hair.

Hayner darted out, not caring that he had ten flights of stairs to climb down before he'd be out of the building and away from what had just happened.

He just needed air.

* * *


	2. Between Breaths

**A/N: **-Fails- I tried, guys. I really did. Anyway, this is going to have just one more part, I think. Our boys are pretty stupid, after all, and need another chapter to sort through their own idiocy. And sorry if this totally sucks. I bite at being original. -Dies-

_**Crowded Elevator: 2**_

Anyone passing the winded, dirty-blond boy running down the stairs of that particular apartment building would probably have been knocked over without so much as a belated "Sorry!" from the kid who'd almost pummeled them.

Hayner was just that out of it. Not to mention the mild "problem" he was sporting in his pants. And just _who_ had made him that way? Fucking _Seifer!_ Of all the people. Of all the fucking people, he'd just had his first kiss and make out session with that asshole.

And he'd liked it.

Running down the stairs helped his erection go down a bit, but the images just kept flowing back into his head. His hands grabbing Seifer's hips, grinding his length into the other boy. Seifer pinning him to the wall, sucking, licking his way up to Hayner's ear. The blue eyed boy grabbing Hayner's ass and hefting him up, thrusting his own hips into the camo-clad boy clinging onto him.

Hayner shook his head hard as he exited the building, trying to pull his thoughts away from all the straight up _weird_ shit that had just gone down.

What he really needed was a cold shower. Or maybe a hot one, scalding hot, to scrub away all the desire coursing through his body. To scrub away the memory of Seifer's rough touch.

After adjusting himself, pulling his still-hard penis up to tuck it under the rim of his pants (uncomfortable, but excellent at hiding embarrassing issues), Hayner walked, face set in a near scowl, down toward the back alley. He kicked an idle can along the way, trying to let the sun and the normalcy of the other aspects of the afternoon calm him down.

But all the "normalcy" seemed to do was piss him off. Around him kids sat with their backpacks, eating ice cream, just like every other day. They talked and laughed and were completely ignorant to the storm of emotion and thought that swirled in Hayner's head. People shopped, and one man argued over the price of a ring with a cashier. Every little sound seemed to just rub Hayner the wrong way, and the only place he really wanted to go was home. But that, at the moment, was _definitely_ not an option.

So he headed to the only place he could get away from the beautiful day and all it's fallicious normalcy – the usual spot. He was going to sit on the couch and think until he passed out, and by the time he woke up it would be night time and he could head home without having to worry about running into the jerk again.

He knew Olette would be busy with her after school club meetings, and Pence was at basketball practice, so at least it would be peaceful there for a while.

As he walked through the gate and past the curtains concealing their hang out, Hayner's mind finally started to slow down. He'd been running on adrenaline, and while walking had slowed it down, sitting on the tattered couch completely snuffed out his excitement and just made him groan in frustration. The light filtered through the train tracks above, shining on all the dust and dirt kicked up in the air from Hayner's abrupt entrance.

He honestly couldn't decide what made the situation worse – the fact that Seifer had kissed him, or the fact that he had _kissed back_. Not only kissed back, but was full on dry humping the hell out of his nemesis. Dry humping the _biggest jerk in the whole fucking school_. Unfortunately, everything about that thought just managed to make him feel naughty, like the kid with the cookie jar, only this time the kid managed to swipe a cookie without getting caught. And, well, he kind of liked the feeling.

Hayner swiveled his body and lay back on the couch, exhaling deeply and closing his eyes, letting out another small groan as he threw his arm across those closed eyes.

He was such a _pervert_! Who gets turned on so easily by someone they hate so much?

_'Well, apparently **I **do,' _he thought, irritated. He had to admit to himself, though, that the thought of being with Seifer like that had actually crossed his mind before – after all, he was a male in the beginnings of his sexual prime, who just happened to be very much attracted to other males. And Seifer, well. Pretty much everything about the other boy screamed 'masculine.'

From his muscular frame to the swagger with which he walked; from his naturally dominate style to the grudging respect he demanded from his fellow students, Seifer was going to be and, in a sense already was, an incredibly sexy man – that was for sure.

And it annoyed the living hell out of Hayner.

But the most confusing part of all this was that _Seifer _had kissed _him._ Seifer had started it! He was the instigator in that steamy little make out – _'No!'_ – awful, horrible, completely sucky mistake. Seifer had started it.

Hayner hadn't told anyone, aside from his father, that he was gay. Olette might have guessed, and maybe Pence, but he'd never had a direct conversation about it with anyone. Least of all anyone who might have told _Seifer. _It wasn't that big of a deal anyway; after all, Setzer was a flaming homo, and no one seemed to mind.

Hayner's dad hadn't particularly cared either. When he was fourteen, right after his mom had first had to leave because of the recurring post partum psychosis, he'd broken down and told his dad everything that had been on his mind – including the somewhat troubling thoughts he'd been having about other boys. It had been the last time Hayner had cried, and cry he did, sitting in his dad's arms and struggling to come to terms with the fact that something was seriously wrong with his mum. He remembered thinking about how strong his dad was, sitting there listening to his only son bawl about how it wasn't fair, how frustrating it was, and not to mention how he thought he was gay.

At that moment, he hadn't even thought about how his dad was taking everything, but as the days passed, Hayner had watched his dad breathe shakingly as he held pictures of their family in happier days – days with then delusions weren't robbing his mother of the reality she so deserved. He knew then that he would have to be strong too, because his dad wouldn't be able to shoulder it all alone.

But the blond boy had been accepted by his father for who he was, and since then hadn't thought twice about his sexual inclination being strange or unnatural. But he also didn't think it was anyone else's business. They could assume what they wanted.

But Seifer? _**Seifer?! **_What the hell?! He was gay? Huh?

And did he... Did he _like_ Hayner? Was that it? Or... maybe he had felt it too.

It always had been pretty tense between them.

* * *

Hayner awoke two hours later, twilight really setting in and illuminating the town, which had been named for the brilliant way the colors of the setting sun reflected off the flourescent particles in the brickwork. Whether the original builders had intended it to be that way or not, no one really knew; and Hayner didn't particularly give a damn anyway.

He rubbed his eyes, immediately forgetting what few dreams he'd had, and felt like he had been hit by a truck. He couldn't recall why his arms felt so sore, why his neck hurt –

Oh. Damn.

As he looked in the small mirror Olette had hung up the previous year, Hayner noticed several small, fingertip-like bruises developing on his arms. His neck held a hickey on the dip of his shoulder which his collar just barely covered. He stretched lightly, noticing his back hurt as well – probably from being shoved into elevator walls over and over again as Seifer's lips and tongue warred for dominance with his own.

Son of a bitch. He wasn't thinking about that jackass right now. He wasn't ever going to think about him again. He would avoid him at school, take the stairs when he got home, and avoid the sand lot like it was infested with massive, post-nuclear roaches.

Luckily for Hayner, his plan seemed to work pretty well. He hadn't gotten any stickers on his locker, he hadn't been ambushed after school, and his keys were always present. His backpack was never inside-out. His lunch didn't mysteriously go missing. And, best of all, her hardly ever caught sight of a black beanie or long, white coat, so no awkward meetings or strange glances ever took place.

After the fifth day of no contact, Hayner began to not sleep well.

Because, for some fucked reason, a reason thought up in the deepest level of hell, Hayner actually _missed _the attention. It may have been annoying, and it may have pissed him off, but he'd been living with it for five years. To suddenly not have it was just... _strange._ Maybe he wanted Seifer to pay attention to him – after all, what they'd shared wasn't exactly your every-day experience.

But hadn't_ Hayner_ wanted to avoid _Seifer_? So why was he so freaked out? Maybe the asshole wanted to avoid _him. _And wasn't that better anyway? Didn't that work out for everyone?

Hayner tossed and turned in his bed, finally deciding that what he needed was air. Being outside always seemed to soothe the blond, and after two hours of rolling around uselessly in bed, he figured that he could at least try something else to calm him down.

The moment he opened the door to his apartment, he wanted to shut it again. There, standing at the end of the hall, was Seifer, clad in only a pair of sweat pants, smoking a cigarette out an open window.

Hayner nearly pissed himself. Seifer only looked at him coolly before casually throwing the pack of cigarettes at Hayner, who caught it.

The brown eyed boy felt his pulse thicken in his neck, blood beginning to pound painfully in his head with anxiety and anticipation. His hands started to sweat lightly, and he felt hot all over. He tried desperately to cover up his weird state, but failed miserably as a shiver passed through him.

After all, he'd always worn his emotions on his sleeve.

Despite all that, Hayner managed a disgusted look and immediately dropped the pack on the floor, kicking it back toward Seifer.

"I don't smoke. It's disgusting." he said, pleased with how level his voice sounded. It felt like the arteries in his neck were trying to choke him, as if blood were being forced to pass through them in amounts much too large to be healthy.

Seifer shrugged, turning to face out the window, blowing smoke into the night air. He didn't even bother to pick up the pack of cigs resting at his feet.

After a few minutes of the indifference shown by Seifer, Hayner came to boiling point.

"So that's _it? _After five days of bullshit running around each other, this is fucking _it?_ You're just gonna stand there, and smoke, and try to look fucking cool?!" he half-shouted, snarling, pissed off at how relaxed Seifer looked. "You make me so _fucking _mad!"

The cigarette was flicked out the window.

The shirtless boy turned around, his eyes full of fire and his fists clenched. Hayner tried not to notice how the muscle rippled on his arms as he flexed in his hands in anger.

"You're so pig-headed. _You're _the one running around all over the place, you fucking pansy. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator?" he questioned, taunting, smirking in triumph and anger. "You're such a fucking chicken. _You're_ the one who couldn't face _me._ Afraid I was gonna attack poor, defenseless wittle Hayner? As if. You're not worth the time."

Hayner saw red. That was it. Just fucking red. It was like there was some sort of explosion that occurred inside of him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He launched himself at Seifer, tackling the older boy to the ground, pinning him. He wrapped his legs around the other blond haired boy's, using the rest of his weight to pin Seifer's arms. He knew it wouldn't last long, but he wanted to at least say his piece.

"I seemed to be worth the time for the past five years, jackass! You never **fucking **_**leave me alone**_! You're always there, always screwing with my head, and I'm goddamn tired of it! What the hell do you want from me?!" Hayner ground out, fighting off the urge to shout, not wanting to wake the neighbors. He growled in frustration, his eyes searching Seifer's blazing expression.

It was quiet for a moment, except for Hayner's hard breathing and Seifer's more gentle breaths.

"You really are fucking stupid, you know that?" Seifer said simply, not even making any sort of attempt to escape.

Hayner was completely caught off guard.

"Wh-what?" he mumbled, his eyes widening, but the rage still shining through.

Before he knew what was happening, Seifer loosed one arm and knocked the other blond boy flat on his back before pouncing on him, settling himself over him, bodies pressed together, effectively holding Hayner down by his weight alone.

Hayner gasped for air, wriggling around, trying to push the other boy off. One of his arms was pinned underneath him, under his back, and was hurting him like hell.

"Quit moving, fuckwad. You're only making it worse." Seifer growled out, his hands moving up to clench in Hayner's hair as he thrust his hips against the boy struggling beneath him.

And it was like a switch was flipped.

Hayner couldn't even remember it clearly – there suddenly was just lips, tongues, hands, hair, spit, moans, grunts, growls. He didn't even know who'd initiated the kiss, or even if they'd met halfway. But he didn't really give a shit either way.

They were more used to each other, but that didn't make their heated kisses any less violent. They met each other with open mouths, and Hayner managed to free his arm from under him, immediately using both hands to grip Seifer's back and rake his nails down from his shoulders to his ass.

Seifer hissed in Hayner's ear, shoving a hand up Hayner's shirt and pinching a hardened nipple roughly in retaliation. The other hand yanked one of Hayner's legs up, pulling the other boy more thoroughly against him before he lifted himself up onto his knees... And then he thrust his hips into Hayner's.

The contact was excruciatingly blissful. Hayner was the first to groan, pushing his own hips back up against Seifer's before biting down on the other boys neck to prevent any further noise from escaping.

It was all rough, hot, and hard, two boys making out on the dirty twelfth floor hallway of an apartment building.

"Don't fucking do that. I wanna hear everything." Seifer whispered commandingly.

"Fuck you." Hayner said, hearing the smirk in the other boy's voice.

Seifer pulled away, and Hayner looked up at him with a lustful gaze, anger still brewing somewhere in the depths of his eyes. His lips were kiss-swollen and moist, and his face held a tinge of pink that was not embarrassment, anger, or anything else – just pure, unabashed _arousal_. _Pure __**sex.**_

"My room or yours?" asked Seifer, nearly breathless and voice far lower than usual. Hayner closed his eyes.

Shit.

"Mine. Dad sleeps with earplugs because of the train."

Seifer nodded, getting up and yanking Hayner up with him, the two boys quickly moving toward apartment 1208 before either could clear their head enough to stop what was about to happen.

They made it quietly through the dark living room, Hayner taking the lead and directing Seifer to his room. When the door closed, Seifer crushed Hayner up against it, pulling the other boy up by his ass. Hayner willingly wrapped his legs around Seifer's waist, using the door and the hard body pressed against him to keep him up.

Their mouths moved in unison, dancing fire between them. Seifer turned, glancing over Hayner's shoulder to find his bed, before moving them toward it and throwing the other boy down. Hayner propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Seifer, daring him to come back down.

Seifer growled and yanked Hayner's shirt up and over his head before slamming their bodies back together, both of them releasing a moan at the new friction between them. Their skin was slicked with a light sheen of sweat, making them stick together hotly in some of the places where their flat chests touched, adding to the eroticism of what was building between them.

The older boy pulled back, and blue eyes met brown as Seifer bent down over the other boy yet again, this time placing his mouth just above Hayner's belly button. Their eyes never broke contact in the dark room as Seifer's tongue licked from belly button to the center of Hayner's chest and back down again. He was slow, deliberate, and Hayner knew that he was being teased.

And he was so turned on he thought he might _die._

Seifer's touch wasn't as rough anymore, but the passion was still so intense it threatened to flare up into violence again at a moment's notice. His hands slid from Hayner's side into the waistband of his pajama pants, pulling them off Hayner's skin just an inch. Seifer's breath was hot against Hayner's lower abdomen, and he could feel the sensation ripple straight to his dick from that point.

And Seifer just sat there, breathing on him, teasing him, watching him the whole time.

"You just gonna sit there?" Hayner finally hissed, growling in frustration. He was as hard as he could possibly be, and Seifer was just fucking _toying_ with him.

"Beg."

Hayner glared down at Seifer, thrusting his hips up. Hands soon pinned those same hips back to the bed as a tongue slid dangerously beneath the waistline of Hayner's pants.

"Fucking do it already!" Hayner ground out, taking his own hands and trying to shove his bottoms off. Seifer would have none of it.

"You obviously don't get it. You're such an idiot." Seifer said lowly, his voice sex-rough. "_Beg._"

One hand whispered over Hayner's straining erection, the other arm still holding his hips down.

"C'mon, wuss. Just tell me what you want." He kissed the tip of Hayner's dick. "_Beg _for it."

Hayner had two options: swallow his pride and take what he got, and have Seifer torment him unmercifully about it forever; or fight, and see what he got anyway.

He always was a fighter.

He kicked Seifer off of him, the other boy landing on his knees. Hayner moved fast, cheating by grabbing Seifer's hair and yanking on it, hard.

"You fucking brat!" Seifer spat, wincing slightly from the pain. Hayner kept his grip tight, and tried not to let his nervousness overcome him. Not _now_ of all times. How could he be fucking nervous _now?_

"You like it. Now take off my pants." Hayner demanded, his voice (thankfully) never breaking. He swallowed hard, yanking on Seifer's hair once again as the blond hesitated.

With a snarl, Seifer did as he was told. For a moment, as Seifer just **stared** at him, Hayner wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

But it was too late now.

And all thoughts of holes and dying were gone when that wet mouth closed around him, sucking lightly and moving back and forth.

Hayner full out moaned, holding nothing back. Seifer's tongue swirled around the tip of his length, his hand working the base as his mouth moved over the rest of him. His mouth was so _wet, _so _hot_ around him, and the fucking _sound_ of it was incredible. Hayner never loosened his grip on Seifer's head, forcing him down further and deeper. In, out, in, out, _god, _it felt so fucking good. Seifer was under his control, and sucking _his _dick.

"Fuck-!" Was all Hayner managed to get out before he came hard into Seifer's mouth, his orgasm hitting him so hard he almost blacked out. He stumbled back toward his bed, releasing Seifer's hair, but the other boy followed, his hand still pumping Hayner, his thumb swirling in and around the slit, making Hayner shiver as he rode out his orgasm.

"You brat," Seifer muttered, climbing up over Hayner yet again. Still in a daze, Hayner made no move to respond at all. "You fucking brat. You think you've got all the power here? Think again."

And with that, Hayner was flipped onto his stomach. He heard Seifer shuffle around in his room for a moment, opening and closing several drawers, and knew instinctively that he was also taking off his pants. It clicked in Hayner's head what was about to happen.

"Wait, what the fuck do you think you're –?!"

But Hayner was cut off as a slick finger entered him from behind.

Seifer leaned down over the other boy, pumping his finger slowly in and out, curling it up in a 'come-hither' motion. His chest met Hayner's back, and he whispered hotly in the other boy's ear.

"I may want to hurt you, but I don't want to _ruin_ you."

And Hayner felt himself harden all over again as Seifer struck a spot within him. He gasped and moaned, thankful for those goddamn ear plugs, as Seifer added another finger. Hayner's mind was blank, not even really taking in the fact that he was about to be fucked.

And then he felt it, something much larger than fingers probing his entrance.

_**Slam.**_

Hayner groaned in pleasure and discomfort, leaning on his elbows and holding his ass in the air. He was vaguely aware that this probably wasn't as painful as it should have been – so there had to have been some sort of lubrication. But all Hayner could really concentrate on were the _sensations_ as Seifer shifted his hips ever so slightly with each thrust, and struck _that_ spot over and over again.

Those slim hips collided with his again and again, pumping in and out in a steady, fast, hard rhythm that seemed unending. Hayner's hand grasped his own arousal in desperation, needing the contact, feeling himself ready to come all over again.

And building, building, pressure, that _coiling_ in his stomach and – _Ah! There – fuck!_

This time Hayner did black out, and when he came to, Seifer was groaning with his own release, which was now all over Hayner's back. He collapsed on top of the brown eyed boy before rolling off of him. They both lay panting for a few long moments before Hayner reached over to grab the paper towels he kept in his bedside drawer with some lotion.

After all, he was a guy.

He wiped the mess from his back and sheets as well as his tired body would allow, and then rolled back over to find Seifer dead asleep on his bed.

Hayner curled in on himself, resisting the urge to crawl into the warmth Seifer's body was emitting, and the full weight of what he had just done hit him.

He had just fucked Seifer.

When Hayner woke up in the morning, the blue eyed boy was gone.


	3. Difference Between Poison and Medicine

A/N: I like this chapter, but I'm sorry it's so short. This was just a good place to end it, because otherwise it would have been much to long. Sorry for the long wait! Hopefully the next update will be a bit more speedy.

**_Crowded Elevator: 3_**

When Hayner opened sleep-sealed eyes against the light of the dawn, the first thing he noticed was a dull, aching throb in his lower back. As he rolled over to check the time – _'Six-thirty. Damn, why am I awake?' – _the second thing he noticed was a hard, partially still sticky stain on his sheets.

Suddenly he was much more awake.

When he shot up in his bed to look around he immediately regretted the impulse. A searing pain shot through his back, making him arch and wince before slowly lowering himself back down to his bed, letting out a long breath. As memories of the night before flooded through his mind like hell-fire, the next thing he noticed was that he was completely and totally alone.

Part of him was slightly pissed off that the jerk had the nerve to fuck him and run, but part of him had to ask himself if he really expected anything more out of Seifer. Seriously, did he think he'd wake up cuddled next to the other boy in a warm embrace? As if. Like Seifer gave a shit about anyone but himself.

Hayner closed his eyes against the strange pulse of emotion that flooded through his body. Waking up alone was not quite how he expected it would be. It just felt so... _lonely._

"Fuck this," Hayner muttered, his face scrunching up in pain as he attempted to slowly raise himself from bed. His backside hurt like hell.

What the fuck had he been thinking?

He fucked Seifer.

He let Seifer fuck him.

He _lost his virginity_ the night before, to Seifer.

And he had no idea how he really felt about it.

To be perfectly honest, though, at the moment, his concern for his body was outweighing any thoughts about the implications of what he'd done. All Hayner wanted was to make it to his bathroom, have a pee, then ease himself into a hot bath and try to relax. He still had plenty of time before he had to be up for school anyway.

Body screaming, Hayner gently put his feet on the floor, trying to concentrate on his breathing. How was it that something that had felt so _good_ only hours before suddenly made him want to throw up in pain? Fucking Seifer, that asshole.

Yup. That's exactly what had done this. Fucking Seifer.

Hayner growled under his breath at the thought, trying to gather the courage to make the giant leap from sitting on his bed to standing up.

_'One, two... two and a half... Fuck, what am I, ten? Three!'_

Standing up, Hayner nearly collapsed again, his eyes temporarily rolling back in his head as he fought off the onslaught of agony.

_'That fucking HURT!'_

As he made his way (slow as a cripple) to the bathroom, he thought to himself that school wasn't going to be such an option today. If he could just make it to the bathroom and stretch himself out a bit, maybe the pain would subside some. He just felt sore _everywhere_. It made him wonder if sex was even worth it.

_...The feel of fingers pinching, teasing his nipple as Seifer pounded into him from behind; that same hand moving down to grip Hayner's length, pumping it for a few teasing strokes before grabbing Hayner's hips and thrusting, holding back nothing. The brown eyed boy moaned, panting, resisting the urge to beg for release, knowing he was so hard he could hardly stand it..._

Okay, so maybe it was worth it.

But at the moment, his greatest victory was reaching the toilet so he could go to the bathroom. (It truly is the small things in life that count.) And, glancing at the bath tub, Hayner decided that getting in and out would be a lot more trouble than it was worth.

He had no idea what he was going to tell his dad, because there was absolutely no way he was going to school. He was going to sleep until he died, or at least until all of this just turned into another one of his crazy sex-dreams. He didn't want to believe it had really happened, that everything had come to this – to having sex with the guy who was basically his worst enemy.

Hayner walked at a snail's pace back to his bed, easing himself down and snuggling into his blankets. He was just going to ignore that stain and the fact that he was naked, not think, and sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep...

"Hayner!" A voice shouted, jolting the boy awake. He glanced at his clock, not even attempting to sit up. It read seven-thirty.

"Hayner, you're supposed to have been up a half hour ago! School starts in thirty minutes! What are you doing?!" The voice half-shouted, sounding slightly irritated.

Hayner groaned. Shit. Dad.

That same voice sounded again, this time more concerned than anything. "Are you alright, kid? You look like hell."

His dad had stepped into the room, sitting down on Hayner's bed. He put his hand to Hayner's forehead, feeling for a fever.

"I feel like it," Hayner said in return, noting how hoarse his voice sounded. Maybe that would help convince his dad he was sick.

"You don't have a fever," his dad stated, watching his son, worry etched on his features. "Did you sleep well?"

Hayner had to resist the urge to laugh at that.

"Actually, dad, I didn't. I spent most of the night just laying here... I wasn't feeling so hot, and I think it's just gotten worse." Hayner replied, sure he looked just as bad as he felt.

His dad sighed. "Well, you haven't exactly missed any school yet this year..." his father started, obviously debating with himself over whether or not to let his son stay in. This was one of those times when Hayner was glad his dad was a bit overprotective. "I guess it couldn't hurt to let you stay in and go ahead and get over whatever bug you've got."

Hayner sighed in relief, giving his dad a weak smile. "Thanks, pop."

The brown eyes that Hayner had inherited scanned his son's face, noticing just how tired the boy looked.

"Is there... anything bothering you, Hayner?"

Hayner closed his eyes.

"No, dad. I'm just... I dunno what's wrong. I just feel sick."

It wasn't really a lie. The thought of what he'd done made him sick to his stomach.

* * *

The next time Hayner woke up, it was to a loud, obnoxious rapping on his bedroom door. He groaned, wondering what the hell had gotten into his normally gentle father.

"Dad, why are you banging on the door?!" Hayner half shouted, his voice hoarse from sleep.

"It's not your dad, chicken-wuss."

Hayner groaned even louder. Here he was, festering and unshowered in his bed, and who should come along but the person who put him in this immobile situation in the first place. He was not a fan of the fact that Seifer was about to see him like this.

"How the hell did you get in my house?" Hayner asked, hearing the door creak open the slightest. He pulled the covers up over his head.

He could practically hear the smirk in Seifer's reply.

"You fucking idiots always hide the spare key in the dumbest places. Really, anyone could get in here and rob you blind or kill you in your sleep."

Hayner thought that at this point, it might be nice if someone killed him in his sleep. It would save him the trouble of dealing with Seifer.

"Mgh." Was Hayner's only reply. Really, what else was there to say? Thanks for the fuck, now leave me alone?

"You really should take a bath. Trust me, it makes you feel a lot better." Seifer said, tugging on the blanket covering Hayner's face.

Hayner peeked out from beneath his blanket shield, glaring at the other boy. "What do you care anyway?"

Seifer's smirk grew.

"It's like I said last night; sometimes I may want to hurt you, but I don't want to _ruin_ you."

Hayner growled weakly.

"You are such a dick."

"You like it." Seifer fired back, echoing Hayner's words from the night before. "Now get your ass up. You need an epsom salt bath and about eight tylenol."

Hayner slowly sat up, the covers pooling around his hips. He suddenly recalled the fact that he was naked, and glared at Seifer, blushing.

"Hey pervert, would you mind turning around?"

Seifer just scoffed at him, that smirk never leaving his face. "Psh. Nothing I didn't see last night," Seifer made the effort to try and look contemplative, "In fact, if I recall, I've had your dick in my mouth _and_ I've been inside of you. You've got nothing to hide anymore."

Suddenly the covers were yanked off Hayner.

"Now quit being a wuss and get your ass out of bed."

The brown eyed boy was absolutely livid. If he'd been able to, he would have punched the shit out of Seifer. Instead all he could do was sit like a blushing virgin and cover up his boy parts with his hands.

It pissed him off _so_ much that Seifer was in his house and seeing him at his most pathetic. Even worse was how he was completely incapable of retaliating in the way that he wanted to.

Under Seifer's cool gaze, Hayner slowly pushed himself up, wincing the whole way. When he stood up fully, he managed a small stretch, his muscles grateful for the release. However, his backside was still screaming at him in a rage.

Seifer made no effort to try and help Hayner, and that was perfectly okay with the brown eyed boy. He didn't want to be treated like a child, especially not by Seifer.

He idly wondered how long Seifer would hold this over his head.

But then another thought occurred to him as he made his miserable death walk to the bathroom – because how exactly did Seifer know the cure-all for being the bottom?

"You've been fucked before, haven't you?" Hayner asked, looking at Seifer with a blank expression.

"Maybe," Was all Seifer returned, shrugging as he said it, "Now get in the bath and turn on the hot water," he handed over a small bottle of salts, "Pour some of this in there and just sit for a while. I'm going to get you something to kill the pain."

Hayner nodded, to exhausted to really fight with the asshole right now. Besides... he wasn't really being _too_ much of an asshole.

One would almost think that Seifer was being _nice_.

Hayner shook his head, bending down slowly to turn on the hot water. Seifer was Seifer. He did whatever the fuck he felt like doing, and if he felt like helping Hayner right now, then whatever. Hayner could deal with that.

Hayner glanced back through the door to look at the clock on his bedside table. It read one-thirty in the afternoon.

Wait... One-thirty?! Wasn't the prick supposed to be in school?

Hayner poured the salts into the running water before stepping in himself.

When Seifer came back with two large tablets and a glass of water, Hayner took them without question. Right after he did it, he realized how stupid that was, because it could very easily have been poison or laxatives or something equally as horrible.

As Seifer turned to leave, Hayner couldn't help himself.

"Why aren't you at school?" He blurted. "And what the hell did I just take?"

The blond boy turned around, resting his weight against the frame of the door.

"One, you weren't at school, and that pissed me off. Two, you just took some hydrocodone. It's prescription painkiller. I got it when I had my wisdom teeth taken out. It'll kill the pain and probably make you pass out."

Seifer's face gave nothing away at the moment, but the only the that was ringing around in Hayner's head was the first part of his statement.

"_You weren't at school, and that pissed me off."_

Hayner sniffed haughtily, which was, he admitted, not the most manly thing to do, but it got his point across.

"_You're_ the reason I wasn't at school. I felt like hell when I woke up this morning. Shit head," Hayner mumbled. "And what do you care whether or not I'm at school? You're so fucking weird."

Seifer's brow furrowed in irritation. Hayner glared back.

He was constantly glaring with Seifer around.

The blond bully moved away from the door frame and came to squat next to Hayner. Before Hayner could protest, Seifer grabbed his face in a rough kiss. Their mouths crushed together, but there was something different about the desperation in this kiss. It wasn't... there wasn't lust behind it.

It was a just a _kiss_.

Hayner yanked back, water sloshing out of the tub and his backside protesting mightily. His eyes searched Seifer's demandingly, but the other boy only looked back at him with that same irritated look.

"What the hell?!" Hayner shouted. Seifer's hands gripped the side of the tub hard, his knuckles turning white. His face contorted into that nasty angry look, and suddenly he was on his feet again.

"I like you, you dumb prick!"

Hayner just sat there, naked, in a bath tub, and wondering what corner of hell he was currently residing in.

Seifer was still staring at him, perhaps not fully aware of what he'd just said.

"You just... God, you're so stupid. I'm getting out of here. If you're not in school tomorrow, I'll come back. So be there."

Hayner heard the door to his apartment slam moments later.


	4. Just a Phase

A/N: A longer chapter than last time, but not as much sexy time. I hope you enjoy anyway... I hope that people aren't just reading for the smut! nervous Also, if you haven't heard the song/figured out where I got the inspiration for this story, look up "Crowded Elevator" by Incubus.

**_Crowded Elevator: 4_**

Hayner sat, shell-shocked, dumb-struck, deer-caught-in-headlights, _whatever_, for at least five minutes, naked and alone in a bath tub. A bath which _Seifer_ had insisted he take, no less.

After five minutes of total incomprehension, there came a sudden burst of anger.

Just who the **fuck** did Seifer think he was, anyway?! You don't just _do _and _say_ those things to people, you can't just get away with whatever you want! How dare he, that stupid fuckhead bastard prick! What the... What the _**hell**_?!

Hayner slammed his fist down in the water, eyes closing in frustration as he contemplated the events of the past twenty four hours.

He'd gone from being totally ignored by Seifer, to making out with him on the floor of the apartment complex, to... to having _sex_ with the shit head, all the way to being confessed to.

Confessed. Confession.

"_I like you, you dumb prick!"_

Good god.

The blond boy felt himself sink into the water, letting out a groan. This was all just too much for his brain to process. Between school and worrying about his mom, he definitely didn't need this Seifer mess. As Hayner ducked his head under the water, he thought about how he'd definitely need to go visit his mother soon... Despite how much he hated it.

_Post partum psychosis. _That's what they called it, but Hayner knew that they didn't actually have a fucking clue what was going on. As far as anyone was concerned, it may as well be that something snapped, and his mum just went bat shit crazy.

_Crazy_. Hayner hated that word. There was definitely something wrong with her, but he couldn't bring himself to believe she was actually... He just had to believe that she'd come out of it, that she'd come home smiling, remembering him and accepting him and loving him. If he couldn't believe that, then what else was there?

He hated visiting though, because, like last time, she'd look at him and ask,

"_Where's Hayner?"_

"_I'm right here, mom," he replies, smiling, hoping that maybe this time she'll **see** him._

_She shakes her head gently._

"_Don't be silly. Hayner's just a little boy," she says, looking at him with dead eyes. "Who are you?"_

_Hayner's heart plummets, his throat beginning to constrict with barely restrained grief. The room is cold and silent, offering him no comfort. He still tries to smile though, because maybe she'll remember his smile._

"_I'm Hayner, mom. It's Hayner." he says again, with a little more emphasis. He kneels in front of her, taking one of her hands in his. But she only shakes her head again._

"_No, no it's not. Please tell him to come here. To come to mommy."_

_He squeezes her hand more tightly, trying to push away the urge to grab her, shake her, sob into her shoulder. _

"_It... it's me... it's really me, I promise you..."_

_The woman with a shade of hair matching his own simply stands, moving away, and Hayner lets his grip on her hand fall. She shakes her head again._

"_Tell him... That I miss him. Tell him to come to mommy," she pauses, turning to look at Hayner, "Why won't he ever come?"_

_Hayner sighs, closing his eyes in rejection, frustration, and pain._

"_He'll come to you. I promise, one day he'll come."_

_And his heart breaks. Because maybe he won't. Maybe never._

Hayner pushed his head past the surface of the water, gasping for breath, shaking his head violently. These thoughts were no good; they weren't going to get him anywhere, and all they would do was remind him of how fucked up things were. Everything was all wrong, and so, so stupid. And it was all Seifer's fault.

If Hayner had just... if he wasn't so _horny_, or something, then none of this would have happened, and he would be going on his merry way down the stream of life. But no.

Seifer had to come along and fuck it all up.

And now Seifer _liked _him? What? Just... no. That couldn't even be possible. That whole concept just went completely against all things good and holy in the world. It was... It wasn't supposed to _be _this way! Couldn't Seifer understand that some things just had to remain as they are? Didn't he get that they were supposed to hate each other, now and forever, because that's how it _was_? Why was the blond bully so hell bent on rocking Hayner's world when all the brown eyed boy wanted was a little stability?!

But then there was a sudden lull in Hayner's thought pattern, and his body relaxed of its own accord. His anger was slowly dissipating, and suddenly things didn't seem so bad anymore. In fact, Hayner was feeling significantly better, emotionally and physically. His backside wasn't screaming at him, and his thoughts weren't swirling in a whirlwind inside his head.

He just felt very... relaxed.

He leaned over and pulled the plug on the drain, suddenly feeling pleasantly tired. As he stood, his backside ached, but it was no where near the pain he'd felt – he glanced at the clock – only an hour or so ago.

An hour? Well, the bath water had gone kinda cold. But how did he just spend an hour sitting in a bath tub? Not that it didn't feel nice. It had felt nice. Until it got cold, and he got sleepy.

_'Oh yeah, it's definitely bed time,'_ he thought, making his way into his room for a change of clothes.

As he walked, Hayner felt loopier than one of Olette's favored crazy straws.

What?

Oh, right. Pain killers. Weren't they supposed to make you kinda like this? Maybe. Well, yeah, obviously. So that was it. Painkillers.

After pulling on some boxers and a nightshirt, Hayner once again pulled his covers up to his chin, and closed his eyes.

Sleep came easily, and this time, there were no worried thoughts about his mother, Seifer, or anything else.

* * *

The next day Hayner was still in a good deal of pain, but at least this time around he was capable of walking. When his dad asked if Hayner needed to stay home again, the blond vigorously shook his head and walked slowly to the door of their apartment, backpack slung over his shoulder.

The _last_ thing he needed was for Seifer to pay him a visit again.

Hayner's dad didn't question the fact that he was leaving a half an hour before he usually did. For that, Hayner was definitely grateful. He didn't want to have to explain that he was having trouble walking... and he especially didn't want to explain just why that was.

"I feel like I'm eighty," he muttered to himself as he practically crawled down the hallway toward the elevator.

When he finally made it, he sighed in relief, shaking it out and stretching a bit to get some of the soreness to go away. Damn but he could use some more of whatever Seifer had given him yesterday...

And then, as the elevator doors began to close, a hand reached in, stopping the door in its tracks. The stupid thing automatically retracted back into it's crevice like a scared dog, and Hayner glared at it for betraying him. Because, well, the other half of his reason for leaving at the ass crack of dawn was so he wouldn't run into the person standing rightin front of him.

How was Seifer everywhere, all the time?

"Morning, chicken-wuss," he sneered, looking Hayner up and down. The brown eyed boy stood his ground, glaring right at the bully's face. When their eyes met, Hayner felt his heart jump into his throat.

_Buh-bump. Buh-bump._

"Morning, asshole." Hayner shot back.

_Buh-bump. Buh-bump._

"Feisty much? Tch, it's too early to deal with you." Seifer said, walking into the elevator and pressing the 'door close' button. He made no motion to push the button for the first floor.

Hayner felt his heart beat faster, anger and... something else making him bristle. Why did the blood start pounding in his ears whenever Seifer said even two words?

"_I like you, you dumb prick!"_

Hayner immediately flushed, remembering not for the first time the words that Seifer had said only the day before. He stood there in a confused daze, his emotions scattered in a million different directions so that he had no idea just what the hell was going on. He was angry, flustered, embarrassed, excited, and... and fuck! How was Seifer doing all of this?!

"What, not feeling well? You look a little... hot." Seifer said after a few moments, the smirk evident in his voice. This snapped Hayner out of his own little world and straight back into reality. He growled, shoving past Seifer and pushing the button to take them to the first floor.

"I thought it was _too early to deal with me_." Hayner said venomously, trying to calm his heart and make it so his face wasn't so damn red. Shit, Seifer should be the embarrassed one, not Hayner! Hayner wasn't the one who'd made some stupid confession!

Seifer pushed the stop button on the elevator. He turned toward Hayner, crossing his arms and just staring at the other boy.

"What?!" Hayner yelled, exasperated, turning toward the bully and adjusting his backpack. "What the hell do you want?!"

Seifer didn't even blink.

"God you're stupid. It's obvious what I want."

Hayner growled, ignoring the sudden heady rush that came over him at those words. He could already barely breathe from the anxiety and tension of the situation, and he could _not_ handle losing his grip now.

Hayner pushed the button for floor one.

"No it isn't! It isn't fucking 'obvious!' It couldn't be any more not obvious! Why don't you just tell me what the hell you're doing, because you're pissing me off!" Hayner yelled, balling his fists and glaring at Seifer as hard as he could.

When Seifer rolled his eyes, Hayner almost hit him. In the next instant, Seifer was giving Hayner this look, a look he'd only ever seen during struggle matches. That determined look. The look that wanted to win at all costs.

The blond pushed off from where he was leaning against the side of the elevator, stepping right into Hayner's personal space. Hayner flinched when he felt Seifer's hand against the side of his face, and he immediately slapped it away.

Hayner felt something inside himself snap, and just like that he was screaming in Seifer's face.

"Just who the _fuck_ do you think you are?! One minute you... you're saying shit about my _mom_, shit that I can't even _control_, and then the next you're fucking kissing me and telling me you like me! Do you have any fucking _clue_ how much of a shit head you are? You can't go doing that to people, saying shit like that! You're fucking insane! I... I _hate_ you!"

Hayner's labored breathing and the sounds of the moving elevator pierced what would otherwise have been a dead silence. And suddenly, the doors opened.

Seifer's face was twisted in rage. He shoved the Hayner harshly out of the elevator and onto his sore ass.

"Do you always fuck people you hate?" Seifer snarled, just as the doors began to shut. Hayner pounded his fist on the floor in anger, trying to stand up and halt the doors again. But his body was protesting every step of the way, and Hayner just could not make it in time.

The last thing Hayner saw as the doors closed was Seifer's back to him.

* * *

_'Thank god,' _Hayner thought, stepping into his school building and heading toward his locker. He'd already been to hell and back that morning, after everything with Seifer, and all he wanted to do was crawl back into his bed and never come out. But now he had a whole school day to get through.

He was putting in the combination on his locker when he felt a small tap on his shoulder. He turned around, smiling in relief when he saw Olette standing there, offering him her other pop tart.

"Missed you at school yesterday," she said in greeting, handing him the sweet.

"Yeah," Hayner said, taking a big bite, chewing and swallowing it. "I was feeling pretty shitty yesterday."

Olette looked at him in a way that told him she was worried.

"I... Did anything happen with your mom? It's just that you never miss school..." she said tentatively, her voice low despite the relatively empty hallway.

Hayner gave her a sad little half smile.

"No, I haven't been to visit her for, like, three days. Everything's just the same as it's been since she was admitted." he replied.

Pence and Olette had been there when things fell apart for Hayner. When his mum got sent off to the psych ward, Hayner had come to the usual spot in a numb state. He'd told his two best friends what happened, how confused he was, and how much the whole situation just... _sucked_. And they'd been there for him, listening to him as he told them about all the humiliating times when his mother had treated him like a four year old. He almost cried again when he finally admitted that his own mom no longer recognized him.

Pence had been silent, sitting next to him and just being present. Olette had done the same, but she cried quietly as the three of them sat there, listening to the train roll by. That train and the rest of the world were completely oblivious to the broken heart sitting on a tattered couch in a back alley.

Olette sighed, more than likely relieved.

"So what were you sick with?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"I... um... I had a stomach thing," he responded, thinking fast. "But I'm over it now. I'm just moving a little slow."

She laughed a little, and Hayner couldn't help but smile.

"So _that's _why you're early. Usually you're running in here faster than a cheetah and still only make it just before the bell."

"Hey," Hayner said through a mouthful of pop tart, "If I get one of these every day I'm early, I might just start leaving sooner."

She mock glared at him. "Just because I gave you one today doesn't mean you get one all the time, you mooch. Besides, you already probably owe me, like, 500 munny for all the times I've paid for your stuff."

Hayner put one hand behind his head, smiling sheepishly.

"Yeah, yeah..."

He heard someone slam their locker especially hard down the hallway, and when he looked, his eyes met with a retreating black beanie and white coat.

His heart sped up again.

"I'm... uh... I'm gonna go ahead to home room. I'll see you at lunch, alright?" Hayner said, turning away from Olette and heading in the opposite direction of Seifer.

"Um... okay," she said, watching him curiously, looking behind her to see what made Hayner leave so abruptly. She barely caught a glimpse of a white coat rounding the corner.

Her brows furrowed.

"Weird..."

* * *

_'Finally,' _Hayner thought as the lunch bell rang. He made his way out of the classroom, still moving slow but not as stiffly, and walked down the hall to the stairs, making his way down to the first floor to the cafeteria.

_'Since when are stairs such a **bitch**?' _

After waiting in the worlds longest line, Hayner finally sat down at a table with his friends, their usual one outside next to the only tree. Really, it was kinda sad, just the one tree. The rest was just grass.

"Yo," Pence said, waving at Hayner. "What's up man? You're moving like you've been hit by a truck."

Hayner sighed, trying not to think about anything that involved Seifer. Especially the sex part.

"I had a stomach virus yesterday, and I still feel kinda woozy if I move too fast." Hayner said, lying through his teeth. He hoped it wasn't obvious, especially since he was about to dig into one of the fattest burgers ever.

"Oh. Sorry dude, that sucks." Pence replied. It went quiet for several long moments, making Hayner restless. His thoughts kept straying back to Seifer, and it was starting to drive him crazy. It was like his whole world had been invaded, and there was no way to fight off the intruder.

He glanced back and forth between his two friends, his leg moving up and down anxiously.

Still no one said a word.

Pence took a long sip of his drink.

Olette poked at her chicken sandwich, and Hayner couldn't take anymore.

"Seifer told me he likes me." Hayner blurted.

Pence's drink exploded from his nose. Olette's fork clattered to her plate.

It would have been perfect if some crickets had started chirping.

Olette picked up a few napkins and started cleaning up the mess Pence had made.

Finally, "WHAT?" came from Pence.

Hayner sighed, feeling his face start to flush. "Yesterday Seifer told me he likes me-" Hayner instantly realized his mistake, "-he, um, ambushed me when I was getting my prescriptions and stuff."

Pence seemed to be trying to process this, and Olette stayed mysteriously quiet as she wiped soda up from the table.

"He... He _likes _you? As in... _like_ likes you?" Pence asked, incredulous.

Olette threw the napkins at Pence.

"Well, duh," she said, rolling her eyes. "Seifer's the only one still immature enough to show that he likes someone by making their life a living hell."

Hayner stared at her.

"What?"

Olette and Pence both ignored this.

"So what did you do when he told you?" Pence asked, before a lightbulb went on in his head. "Wait a minute... Seifer's _gay_?"

Hayner shrugged. "Nothing wrong with being gay. But yeah, I guess he is."

"So what did you do? Did you tell him you weren't into guys? What happened, man?" Pence asked anxiously.

"I... I never said I wasn't into guys." Hayner said quietly. He hadn't exactly told his friends he was gay, because it didn't seem like a big deal. But suddenly it kinda was.

Pence just stared.

"I – whoa, dude, just gimme a minute. This is kind of a lot for a guy to take in," he said after a few awkward moments. Hayner nodded, because he really had dropped a few bombshells in the last five minutes.

Olette seemed on the verge of rolling her eyes again.

"So, Hayner, what happened after he told you?" she asked, her eyebrows drawing together in curiosity. Somehow Hayner got the feeling that she knew more than she was letting on.

"We fought for a little, and I told him... I told him I hated him." Hayner said distracted by his own words. He'd really said it. He'd really told Seifer that he _hated_ him.

"Hell yeah you did!" Pence said, suddenly back in the picture and reaching his hand out to high-five Hayner. The blond responded automatically, raising his hand and slapping it against his friend's.

"Oh _Hayner_," Olette said dramatically. "What have you _done_?"

Hayner scoffed. "What do you mean 'what have I done'? I told him off! I don't want to-"

"Do you have _any_ idea how hard it probably was for him to say that?" Olette interrupted. Thinking back, Hayner didn't think it had taken Seifer much effort at all. "And then you go and say you _hate_ him? Do you, Hayner? Do you really hate him?"

Hayner hesitated for a heartbeat before sputtering, "Of course I do! Look at all the shit he does to me! He talks about my _mom_ for chrissake! I _hate_ him!"

"Yeah! He's never left Hayner alone, and he's the biggest asshole in this school!" Pence half-shouted in agreement.

Olette gave both of them an angry look, and they sat back, immediately weary of her.

"Fine. But think about this, Hayner. It took you _this_ long and it took _that_ much for you to notice him. Maybe _you're_ the asshole," she said, standing up to leave, her food almost untouched. "You're so oblivious it's almost sad. Oh, and you should never say you hate another person. You don't know how much you might regret it later."

"_Do you always fuck people you hate?"_

Hayner shook his head. He bit into his burger, and his head started to hurt. He couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what was going on.

* * *

The day trudged on with three classes left, and one of them was Hayer's free period. He didn't have any classes with Seifer, which was a definite god send, but it turned out he wasn't entirely safe.

It was during his free period that Olette caught him again.

He'd just been sitting in the hallway dozing off when he felt eyes on him. He looked up to see Olette looking down at him, her face looking more than a little peeved. She plopped down in front of him, glancing around to see if anyone else was in the hallway before looking him in the eyes.

"You're not telling the whole story. What happened with you guys? And don't give me any crap this time," she said warningly. Hayner new she was mad because this was the second time that day she had cursed – a very rare thing for her.

Hayner sighed, trying to figure out what to say.

"Well... it kind of – some stuff happened, and we... um..."

"Does this have anything to do with why you're 'moving slow?'" Olette asked, quoting with her fingers in the air and staring at him hard.

Hayner felt like he was being interrogated under a bright light.

"Er..." Hayner started, then realized exactly what she was implying, "Olette!"

"I'm not stupid, Hayner. Something like... something like that happened between you guys, and now you're confused because it's thrown your world off kilter. Am I right?"

Hayner just nodded. Olette always had been good at reading people.

"You," she shoved her finger into his chest, "need to talk to him. Not _fight,_" she emphasized, "but _talk._"

Hayner let his head slip back and bang gently against the wall.

"That's just it. I can't talk to him, because he just says things that piss me off. And then I get mad, and we fight. We never talk, we're either fighting or fu-"

Olette held up her hand, signaling him to shut the hell up. The blond couldn't believe he'd almost said it out loud to her. Seifer was just totally screwing with his mind.

"Just talk to him, okay?" she said, before standing up, "The teacher's gonna ask where I am if I'm not back. I'll see you later."

For the millionth time that day, Hayner let out a sigh. This one was exhausted, and he closed his eyes tight in exasperation. This was totally not how things were supposed to be going right now. This was all wrong.

This was all so, so wrong.


	5. Spiderwebs

**A/N: **Well guys, here it is. The long awaited chapter five. I am so sorry it took so long... but I always get in kind of a writing slump around this time. I _struggled_ with this chapter, and I don't feel like it's quite how I wanted it to be, but oh well. I really don't like this chapter, and I don't think I did a good job with it. But I hope you guys enjoy it anyway. :) Also, this story has totally taken on a life of it's own, so don't blame me – blame Seifer and Hayner, because they are running the show now.

Just one more thing, because this is getting long. I'm going to start responding to your reviews, because I've been _really_ bad about that, and you guys deserve a reply! I love you all!

_**Crowded Elevator: 5**_

Hayner held his breath as he gently opened the front door of his apartment and poked his head out into the hallway. Right, left, right again – and we're clear! The blond smiled to himself as he exhaled in relief, pulling the door open fully before stepping out into the hall and promptly closing it behind him.

He bypassed the elevator, avoiding it as if it were the entrance to hell itself, and opted instead for the twelve flight trek downward to the first floor.

No one ever said Hayner wasn't a determined guy.

And dammit, he was _determined_ not to encounter Seifer ever again, because an encounter would mean he'd have to finally own up to what he'd promised Olette... He'd have to _talk_ to the bastard.

No fists.

No hits.

Just words.

Hayner sighed deeply as he trudged down the stairs, feet falling harshly on each step as if he were pouting. Which, well, he was. Because as much as he didn't want to admit it... he was being a _chicken_.

He was scared to talk to Seifer.

And it frustrated the hell out of him, because _why _should he be scared? It was just Seifer. It's not like it was that big of a deal. Yeah, they'd fucked, but right about now Hayner was of a mind to just say, _"So what?"_ The whole ordeal was so ridiculous. Honestly, they really should both just forget about it and move on with their lives. Hayner would be perfectly fine with that.

...Except for the whole thing where he'd been trying, for the last few days, to block out all the memories and feelings, only to discover that he couldn't. The other boy's presence was everywhere: in the streets, in school, in Hayner's _room_ and _bathroom_... There wasn't a place in Hayner's physical world that the other blond hadn't occupied, and thus, anywhere he looked, there Seifer was, annoyingly_ there_.

Hayner was getting absolutely _sick_ of expertly keeping his distance from the real Seifer, only to be plagued by another Seifer that had apparently decided to barge into his brain and take up residence. It was _stupid, _it was _irritating_, and it was _driving him crazy._

How fair was this?! How _fucking fair_ was it that Hayner had to put up with this shit?! The problem was Seifer's, after all, because Seifer was the one that had _feelings_, or whatever the fuck, for Hayner. Hayner wasn't supposed to have to deal with any of this, because he wasn't the one who _cared_! He should just be able to push thoughts of the blond bully into his mental dump and never have to think about him again.

Hayner frowned as he reached the sixth floor. Another thing he just didn't get... _Why_ did Seifer like _him_? Not that Hayner thought there was anything wrong with himself; it was more that, well, they'd always hated each other, they knew next to nothing about each other, and quite frankly there wasn't all that much that was really special about Hayner.

The blond had a short temper, was sloppy, was exceptionally lazy and barely passed his classes because of that laziness... He bit his nails, his hair was barely kept under control by gel, he chewed with his mouth open, sometimes he snorted when he laughed...

Hayner shook his head. _That_ was not a train of thought he wanted to keep going down. Thanks to Seifer, Hayner was now nit-picking about all the things that irked him about himself.

And so, once again, it came back to _him. _Seifer. Seifer Almasy.

Fucking Seifer. All of this was his fault. If he hadn't pushed Hayner so far, if he hadn't kissed Hayner, if he had just left him the _hell_ alone...!

By the time Hayner reached the bottom of the stairs, his mood had deteriorated into the pissed off countenance he'd become notorious for over the past few days. He'd snapped at Pence yesterday when the brunet had asked him what was wrong, earning him a dirty, knowing look from Olette.

He'd stomped away from the both of them, frustrated with his mood and his friends, and chalked the fight up to yet _another_ thing that was Seifer's fault.

_'Alright, focus on something else. I gotta apologize to them for being such an ass... I just need to get through this day.' _Hayner took a deep breath. _'And... I gotta talk to _him_ today. No more of this running away shit.'_

His mood slightly less on the shitty side, Hayner stepped out of the lobby and into the street. He wasn't in any hurry – he'd been leaving early to avoid Seifer in the mornings – and so he walked at a leisurely pace, trying to steer his thoughts away from... well, all the _crap._

He sighed heavily before a movement in the alley between his apartment complex and the neighboring building caught his eye.

And, of course, what else would it fucking be.

Seifer.

Standing against one of the walls, smoking a cigarette.

Hayner cursed his stupid, stupid luck.

He immediately noticed the rapid thumping starting up in his chest that began the moment he caught sight of the other boy; the blood coursed through his body, pounding angrily against the walls of his arteries. His breath caught, and he felt his face heat up. A strange tingle worked its way down his body, and Hayner had to _really_ fight himself not to get pissed off.

Why was it that the other boy could make him react like this just by _being_ there?!

He ducked quickly behind the wall of his complex, out of Seifer's sight. There was no way the other boy had noticed him, because he'd been staring intently at the ground, face a total blank. Hayner swallowed, nerves on edge, and steeled himself.

It was still pretty early, and he could just go ahead and get this stupid talk out of the way. It shouldn't take long... after all, Olette had really just wanted him to talk and shit so that the two boys could go back to how things had always been... right? Right. So Hayner would just go up to Seifer, demand that the other boy leave him the fuck alone, and head on to school.

_'Just get this over with.'_

Hayner's brow furrowed as he puffed out his chest, pumping himself up mentally for the upcoming conversation. This would be easy. Just tell him off, get him out of Hayner's life and out of his head. No problem. Quick and painless.

He turned the corner of the alley, and Seifer looked up at him. Hayner opened his mouth to talk, but Seifer just let out a grunt, stomped his cigarette out, and turned to walk away.

Hayner's jaw clenched, his temper flaring at the sight of the other boy's back. Without thinking, Hayner lunged forward and grabbed the older boy's arm, effectively halting his progress.

"Hey, I'm trying to talk to you!" he growled, exasperated.

Seifer turned around, yanking his arm from Hayner's grasp.

"What the fuck do _you_ want?"

Hayner bristled, trying desperately to keep the anger licking his temper at bay. "You don't have to be a dick. I need to talk to you, so let's get this the fuck over with."

Seifer looked him up and down before taking a step back, crossing his arms.

"Fine then," he said, that fucking condescending sneer taking up permanent residence on his face. "Talk."

"Why do you have to be such a prick?!" Hayner snapped, his anger and anxiety mixing perfectly to set off his temper.

Seifer's contemptuous look only deepened.

"If you're gonna talk shit, then get out of my face. You're wasting my time," he responded, uncrossing his arms as he turned, once again, to walk away.

The thoughts that had been plaguing Hayner and ruining his mood for the last few days finally bubbled to a head as he watched the other boy dismiss him so easily. Rage boiled in him, because _dammit_, he was trying to fix this, and all that bastard could do was run the fuck away.

"Fine then, walk the fuck away! You talk all that shit about liking me, and then you just turn your back on me like a _coward_!" Hayner hissed, breathing increasing rapidly as he all but shouted at Seifer's retreating back.

_That_ caught Seifer's attention, and he immediately rounded on the brown eyed boy, his eyes blazing anger.

"Don't you _dare _call _me_ a coward. You're the one who's been avoiding everything, never around anywhere. Don't talk to me about being afraid of what's going on, _chicken-wuss._"

"I haven't been doing _shit_!" Hayner fired back, pissed as all hell because he knew Seifer was right. He wanted to hit the bastard, but held back, thinking about how mad Olette would be if he got into _another_ fight with the idiot bully.

"Whatever." Seifer replied, not moving from where he stood a few feet from Hayner.

Hayner forcefully slowed his breathing down as a strange silence stretched between them. He made his jaw relax from where he was gritting his teeth, and braced himself to ask the one question that was bothering him the most. He closed his eyes, and gave a frustrated sigh.

"Look, all I want to know is _why the fuck_ you like me," he said once he'd calmed down slightly.

Seifer made an exasperated noise, and Hayner tried to ignore the irritation that sparked at that. It was like Seifer thought the answer was obvious, and that Hayner was just being a dumbass.

"You're one of the only people I actually respect," he started, looking Hayner straight in the eye. "You're not nearly as pathetic as you seem," he paused, thinking for a minute before smirking slightly. "That, and you're not afraid of me."

Hayner took all of that in, and resolved that it was the worst explanation ever.

"You are so fucking weird. Those... those aren't legitimate reasons at all! What the hell kind of person are you?!"

Seifer shook his head, that damnable smirk still on his face.

"I'm not the one who's crazy here," he said calmly.

"What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?!" Hayner exploded, sick of trying to suppress his temper.

"I mean that I'm not the one who's fucking everything up. I've been making it simple from the start, and you're just too stupid to accept it."

Hayner's fists clenched.

"_I'm_ the one fucking everything up-?! You just... you're so fucking... ugh!" Hayner spluttered, his anger depriving him of the ability to think straight.

Seifer's smirk broadened.

"So eloquent, chicken-wuss," Seifer frowned suddenly. "Now why don't you answer _my _question: why _don't_ you like me?" the older boy paused as he thought for a moment. "No, better, why do you _hate me_?"

Hayner felt his anger fade somewhat, replaced by disbelief at what he was hearing.

"You've got to be _kidding_ me. Why _wouldn't _I hate you?! You're an idiot if you have to ask that."

Suddenly Hayner found himself pushed up against the brick of his apartment building, Seifer's body pinning him.

"I'll ask again," Seifer said, his smokey breath invading Hayner's personal space. "Why do you hate me?"

Hayner swallowed thickly, his heart jumping in his chest at the other boy's proximity.

"I don't know," he said quietly, irritation invading his voice as he tried to force Seifer off him. "Everything about you just pisses me off. You annoy the shit out of me, you talk shit to me about everything from my friends to my _mom_..." Hayner closed his eyes, the rage burning inside him at the memory of the vicious things the blue eyed boy had said. "The things you _say_ and _do _just... make me... so _mad_!" he opened his eyes and sneered. "I could _never_ like you."

Seifer's mouth was pressed against Hayner's before he could even breathe.

The kiss was... weird. It was nothing like the elevator, the hallway, the bedroom or the bathroom... It was like... It was new. It was... _gentle_.

Seifer's lips moved softly against Hayner's, his tongue coaxing the other boy's mouth open. Hayner gasped in suprise, and Seifer took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, seizing his mouth softly but with a lingering demand. Hayner's arms pushed against Seifer, trying to unpin himself, yet he found that his _fucking mouth_ was responding, kissing Seifer _back_.

Of all the times for his mind to lose to his body.

And then the lighter haired boy was pulling back, looking at Hayner's flushed face and smirking triumphantly.

"You're blushing."

"S-so?" Hayner stuttered, his mind reeling. "That doesn't mean anything!"

Seifer backed away, releasing him, and Hayner immediately put distance between them.

"I'll ask another question," Seifer said, his smirk becoming more malicious. "Do you always fuck people you hate?"

Hayner was incensed.

"Fuck you! You were-" Hayner started, stopping himself as his mouth caught up to exactly what he was about to spill.

Seifer just smirked more widely.

"Your what? Your first? I'm honored."

"You are _such_ an asshole!" Hayner growled, furious with both himself and the blond bastard standing before him.

"You could like me," Seifer said, his voice not giving away anything until his tone turned mocking, "Maybe if I wasn't _such_ an asshole."

"Right." Hayner said, sarcasm coating his irritation. "But you are and I don't. I'm trying to tell you that you're _wasting you time._"

Seifer narrowed his eyes.

"No, I don't think I am. After all, you like me enough to let me fuck you."

How was it that Seifer couldn't say two sentences without pissing Hayner off?

"That's _lust_!" Hayner hissed, before collecting himself, crossing his arms. "And you call _me_ stupid."

Seifer gave a small shrug, still smirking that _fucking_ smirk.

"It's a start."

The blond bully lunged forward, grabbing Hayner in a forceful kiss, their mouths crushing together in a mess of lips and teeth and tongue. Hayner responded fervently, biting at Seifer's mouth, directing all his built up frustration and rage into that _idiotic kiss._

Seifer pushed Hayner back into the wall, grabbing his wrists and yanking his arms above Hayner's head. The blond responded by throwing his body weight forward, mouth still locked against Seifer's. His head swam in a mixture of lust, anger, and anticipation as Seifer roughly bit down on his lower lip, bruising but not drawing blood.

The blue eyed boy took Hayner's reaction for the challenge it was, pushing his body as close to Hayner's as possible, working his knee between Hayner's thighs. Hayner involuntarily let out a soft groan as he felt himself react to Seifer's proximity, the bully's scent intoxicating him with memories of sex and pleasure.

It was with this sound that Hayner's world snapped back into place, and he was suddenly resistant to Seifer's kisses, and then he was squirming to get out and away before he was overwhelmed yet again by the bastard.

Seifer released Hayner's mouth and body to avoid getting kneed in the crotch, and Hayner jumped away, putting several feet between himself and the bully.

"You..." he started, the anger welling up inside him yet again. "You piss me off _so much!_" he shouted, not caring anymore if anyone heard. "Why the fuck are you doing this?!"

Seifer just stared at him, breathing hard as he recovered from their kiss, but otherwise remaining silent and appearing as collected as ever.

Hayner took several deep breaths, calming down, suddenly tired. These games were fucked up, and they were screwing with his head, and he was fed up with all of it. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"Look. If you want me to like you so much, quit messing with me," he growled lowly. "And... and you should apologize for all the shit you've pulled."

Seifer just gazed back coolly, his expression unreadable.

"No, I don't think so."

Hayner, most of his rage having bled away, was just confused.

"What? Why the fuck not?"

Seifer rolled his eyes.

"One, because you already like me. You wouldn't respond to me if you didn't," Seifer glared at Hayner as he started to open his mouth, and for once, Hayner shut up. "Two, because most of it was funny, and the rest of it was just to get your attention. You're always trying to fucking _ignore_ me, and it pisses me off."

A little of Hayner's anger simmered below the surface.

"I'm always _ignoring you_ because you're a fucking _lunatic_ who makes my life hell," he ground out, glaring at the blond across from him.

"So you see the problem," Seifer said calmly.

Hayner released yet another sigh, turning to the side slightly before looking back at Seifer, his lips pursed.

"Why don't you just try being nice or something? That's what any _normal_ person would do."

"Because that's not who I am, and you know it," Seifer responded lightly. "I'm not 'nice.' I don't do 'nice.'"

"Well you better learn," Hayner scoffed. "I'm not exactly attracted to dicks."

Seifer smirked again.

"I beg to differ."

"You know what I mean! You – ugh!" Hayner's cheeks reddened and his jaw clenchied as he fought down his blush and his irritation. He was _so tired_ of getting pissed off.

"Sure." Seifer shrugged.

Hayner shook his head.

"You know, I just don't _get_ you. You won't apologize for all the shit you've said – even about my... my _mom_, and then you expect me to like you back? How does that even make _sense_?"

Seifer snorted. "Apologies are stupid because they don't really mean anything. They're just words, and they don't make things any better. It's like putting a fucking band aid on top of a stab wound. I've said some dumb shit to you, and shit I didn't mean, but what the fuck would an apology do for it? Is it really gonna make you feel better?"

Hayner's eyes narrowed, his hands threatening to clench into fists again.

"Why do you always twist everything around to work for you?"

"Because I'm a selfish asshole," Seifer said. "Which is exactly why I'm not leaving you alone."

Hayner turned around, running both hands through his hair, effectively screwing up the effort he'd put into taming it that morning.

"I can't deal with this right now," he said tiredly. "I don't even know what's going on with you anymore. I'm sick of being so confused."

"I don't get why you have to make it so _fucking _complicated!" Seifer suddenly snarled. "I respect you, I like you, I want you for myself. Just admit you like me back. And if you can't do that, _chicken-wuss_, you're way more of a coward than I thought."

And just like that, Hayner's rage was firing up.

"Fine!" he shouted, startling a nearby bird. "Even if I _did_ like you... _This_ is the fucking point – I don't like being around you! Whenever you're there, I get mad as fucking _hell_, because you're the biggest jerk I know, and you don't even _try_ not to be. We'd end up killing each other or something!"

It was Seifer's turn to sigh.

"That's not true and you know it."

"No, I don't know it!" Hayner yelled. "Everything I just said is the truth!"

"You _like_ being with me," Seifer replied, defiant. "Admit it, you wouldn't want some boring idiot coddling you all the time. You _like_ how we are."

"There is no _we_!" Hayner exploded, his fists clenched tightly, body bent forward as if to pounce.

"There definitely is," Seifer shot back immediately.

"Fuck this!" Hayner said, starting to stomp away. "I can't deal with you anymore."

As he stormed past Seifer, the blond bully grabbed his arm, stopping him for a moment.

"You can't run forever, Hayner," he said quietly, his voice a monotone.

Brown eyes widened slightly as Seifer released Hayner's arm and began walking away. Hayner turned toward him, watching as Seifer walked calmly back into their building.

The blond glanced down at his watch, suddenly remembering school.

"Shit," he cursed to himself. He was late already.

This was going to be one _hell_ of a day.


	6. Not the Sun

**A/N: **See? I told you guys the next update wouldn't take nearly as long! Having faith pays off! However, don't think that I'll be spoiling you guys like this all the time. I've just been pretty inspired the last few days. Don't count on it lasting long though. Anyway, I think I like this chapter, although please don't throw things at me when you get to the end! Also, I'm going to apologize in advance for the lack of Seifer, but this story has taken a turn for the Hayner-centric.

_**Crowded Elevator 6**_

Hayner burst into his first period class, having totally missed homeroom, panting and struggling to keep his mind focused on pushing down his embarrassment at being ten minutes late.

"Mr. Aldaine, is there a problem?" his teacher asked, glaring at him for the interruption.

"No sir. Sorry I'm late," Hayner mumbled, making his way to a seat next to Pence.

"I'm afraid I'll have to notify the office of this tardy," the teacher said with a resigned sigh. "But please join us for now."

"Thank you, sir."

Hayner plopped down in his seat, pulling out his books and trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible. He glanced at Pence, who was looking at him with a questioning look.

Hayner opened his notebook and started writing.

_Hey man, I know this is a lame way to do this, but I just wanted to say sorry for being such an ass lately. I've just got a lot of shit going on._

_**Dude, it's fine. What's been up? And why were you so late?**_

_Seifer._

_**What'd he do?**_

_I tried to talk to him about what he told me, and apparently he's just fucking crazy._

_**You guys fight or what?**_

_Sorta._

_**Seriously, man. What happened?**_

_I really don't want to talk about it._

_**He didn't, like, try to kiss you or something did he?**_

_It's complicated._

_**What?**_

_Dude, seriously. I'm really tired. I don't wanna talk about this right now._

_**Hayner, I'm your best friend. Quit bullshitting me.**_

_Fine. I'll tell you during lunch or something._

_**Is he why you've been such a bitch the last few days?**_

_Don't call me a bitch. But yeah, I guess so. Sorry about that._

_**It's cool. See you at lunch.**_

Pence gave Hayner a small smile before turning back to face the teacher, who was droning on about some guy or other who did something that had some impact to make shit happen the way it was supposed to happen so that everything would turn out how it was today.

History sucked.

Hayner quickly folded the paper on which they'd written their notes, and stuffed it haphazardly into his backpack. He sighed tiredly, rubbing his eyes before propping his chin on one hand, the other lazily doodling in his notebook. The blond's head was strangely clear as he mindlessly waited for the class to be over with. He felt like he was on autopilot as the period came to an end and he made his way toward his next class. The weight of the conversation with Seifer was definitely breaking his back, but weirdly enough, his brain was actually relaxing for once.

Seifer wasn't swarming his thoughts.

He just... he _couldn't_ think about any of that shit, because that would mean actually owning up to the truth.

Seifer, that prickface, was right.

Hayner couldn't run forever.

And it was just... Those particular words had struck several different chords within him. Not only was he running away from _Seifer_... It had also been almost a week and a half since he'd last been to see his mom. But after the last visit, and after seeing her so out of it again, and again, and fucking _again_... It was just too god damn painful. It hurt so fucking much.

And could you really blame him? After all, it was so _unfair._ None of it was _fair_! He'd lost his mother to her own mind... How does something like that even happen? And why her? Why _him_? He was a good kid... He didn't make the best grades, and he got into fights every now and then, but dammit, his heart was in the right place. Weren't good things supposed to happen to good people?

Fuck.

With all this beginning to run around his head, third period found Hayner lacking the blank state of mind he'd experienced for that all too brief hour during first period. It had now been replaced with an overwhelming sense of guilt and sadness.

And so, naturally, he became extremely withdrawn (where he was usually loud and boisterous), as well as really fucking cranky. He couldn't help but be _extremely _glad (not for the first time) that he didn't share any classes with a certain blond-haired blue-eyed bastard.

He fucking _hated_ that Seifer was right. Hayner had been dancing around all the shit about Seifer ever since the whole mess had started. And now that he'd been blatantly told that he was running away... well. It was about damn time for him to come to terms with just _how the hell_ he felt about... about...

_Seifer._

How he felt about Seifer.

Okay... so...

He definitely knew that he was physically attracted to the bastard. But honestly, there was no one in the world who could blame him. The other male was sexy in every sense of the word – he was physically and mentally strong, and he screamed power and authority in everything from the way he talked to the way he moved. His tone was constantly demanding attention and respect, and his body language was all confidence and ease.

Not to mention that body was absolutely killer. Thick but not bulging muscles were lightly defined beneath medium toned skin, and that _ass_ was just... Wow.

Plus, Hayner had the excuse that he was a teenage male at his prime, and before Seifer had come along, he'd never really had any sexual interaction. So of course his body was going to jump at the fucking _silver platter_ Seifer had lain himself out on for Hayner's consumption. It was only natural.

But the problem really was that it _wasn't._ It wasn't _natural_ for someone to be so infatuated with someone that they'd been _hating_ for practically seven years. It was... it was just _too weird_. There wasn't any reason for this to happen, there wasn't any reason for Seifer to suddenly up and decide, "Hey, I like Hayner, I think I'll molest him in the elevator one day!"

The brown eyed boy rolled his eyes at his internal dialogue, making a face at himself.

Well, he had to admit there was something kinda hot about getting it on with your worst enemy. And there was something alluring about how Seifer seemed so determined to have him... Not that Hayner would _ever_ concede to being treated like a piece of property or any shit like that. But, you know, no one had ever really paid him much attention before, and, well, it was kind of... awesome.

So, yeah. He had at least two legitimate reasons to be attracted to Seifer. That, and...

He sighed softly against the backdrop of yet another droning teacher.

He'd always been _curious_ about Seifer.

What was Seifer like when he wasn't being an asshole? How did he act around his friends? What happened when he was with his family? Was he a different person, or was he just always meant to be a prick to everything that moved?

Ever since Seifer had barged through that apartment door and knocked Hayner on his ass when they were ten, Hayner had been curious.

What, exactly, made Seifer Almasy tick?

Hayner's eyes rolled up to the ceiling in a silent confession. So, there were three things that made Seifer attractive: Hayner's lust, their rivalry, and Hayner's curiosity.

Those same brown eyes refocused on his blank notebook, suddenly glaring at the paper as though to burn holes right the fuck through it.

So what did that all amount to? A _crush_?

_'You've got to be shitting me. I do **not **__have a crush. I **don't**. Not on Seifer, not on anyone. It's just... some weird fucked up thing that's going on, and of course I'm gonna think about it. All I feel is lust and a mild interest in whether or not he's constantly a dick.'_

Hayner slowly gathered his things as the bell rang, signaling lunch time. Now it was time to face yet _another _thing... Ugh. Hayner was getting straight up sick of dealing with shit today. Couldn't it come gradually or something?

But no. He couldn't let Seifer be right.

No more running away.

Hayner braced himself for the upcoming confrontation with his friends by going to the bathroom, looking himself in the mirror, and forcing his expression to appear less pissed off. This effort was almost futile, and Hayner resigned himself to the fact that he'd have to work _really _hard not to make his friends mad at him again.

Once again, all his problems came back to Seifer. If Seifer would just get out of his head, he wouldn't be so pissed, he wouldn't snap at his friends, he wouldn't feel so _guilty..._

The blond shouldered his backpack and slumped out of the bathroom, walking toward the cafeteria with one hand in his pocket and the other holding the strap of his backpack in a death grip.

He stood in that god forsaken lunch line forever, managing to grab some decent food in the form of school spaghetti and some fries. Hayner glanced reluctantly around the cafeteria, his eyes catching sight of a black beanie sitting next to a purple head and a hugely muscled male.

Thankfully Seifer didn't look up, nor did he seem to notice Hayner in any way. A strange feeling bubbled in Hayner's stomach as he looked away from the older boy, and he began making his way outside to his, Pence, and Olette's favorite table.

The one sad little tree, for some reason, made Hayner suddenly feel extremely isolated and cold, despite the warm, cheery day.

He shook off the feeling and approached the table, sitting down and forcing a small smile on his face.

"So, guys... What's up?" Hayner said awkwardly, unsure of how to start the conversation that would inevitably leave him irritated.

Pence glanced at Olette before putting down his fork and sighing. He looked up at Hayner.

"Alright, dude. No beating around the bush this time. What. Happened."

Olette interrupted before Hayner could even open his mouth.

"Did you guys talk?" she asked.

Hayner flinched, shoving down the urge to just get up and walk away. Annoyance had its foot in the door and was desperately trying to push its way into Hayner's mood.

"Yeah. I talked to him."

"So what happened?" Pence demanded impatiently. "You've been like a pissed off bull for a fucking week."

Hayner glared at Pence for that comment, but then rolled his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to try and summarize the conversation with Seifer without giving away too much... personal information.

"Well what he said about liking me and shit... It really bugged me, y'know? So I saw him this morning when I left for school, and I decided I was sick of thinking about that crap and confronted him about it," Hayner paused and took a breath, noticing both Pence and Olette staring at him intensely. "I asked him why he liked me... and he gave me the most messed up answers. Not to mention he was a total prick about it too."

Hayner finished his spiel and slouched in his seat, aimlessly poking at the spaghetti he no longer felt like eating.

"So did you apologize?" Olette asked eagerly. Pence looked at her, a bewildered expression on his face.

"What would _Hayner_ have to aplogize for? Seifer's the asshole here, remember?"

Olette gave him a sour look, which did not suit her normally pretty features.

"He told him he hated him, Pence," she said matter-of-factly.

"And...?" Pence replied, sarcasm etched in his tone. This earned him a small glare from the brunette girl sitting across from him.

"Listen," Hayner interrupted, before Olette could unleash on Pence, "None of that even matters because apparently Seifer doesn't think apologies mean anything." Hayner continued poking around at the pasta, not looking up at either of his friends.

"Huh?" Pence asked.

Hayner finally looked up, letting out a tired sigh.

"When I told him to apologize for all the crap he's done, he pulled some shit on me about how apologies were just words and-"

"So _you_ didn't apologize, but you wanted _him_ to apologize? That's hardly fair, Hayner," Olette cut in.

Hayner grunted.

"Just whose side are you one anyways?" the blond mumbled.

"Okay, hold up here!" Pence said, waving his arms above his head. "Hayner _hates_ Seifer. That's a fact! That's the way it's always been! And... and Seifer _should_ apologize for everything he's done!"

Hayner flinched again, all his fourth period thoughts flooding back to him... How he'd admitted to himself that maybe he didn't hate the bastard, and that there was a certain fucked attraction for the bully.

"Look, I really don't wanna talk about this anymore, okay? This morning was crazy enough without having to sit here and relive it," Hayner said, his tone tired and annoyed.

"Fine," Olette said, putting up her hands in surrender. "But don't think you're getting away that easily, mister."

Hayner gave her a small smirk, finding her antics amusing. She smiled back at him, recognizing his down mood.

"I still don't get what's going on here, really," Pence said, before turning his gaze to Olette. "And what's with you, seriously? Defending Seifer all the sudden?"

"I just think Hayner's being silly, that's all. Besides, Seifer's not _so _bad. He probably has more going on in his life than we think he does," Olette said, he expression thoughtful. She turned to Hayner and gave him a small, secretive smile, and Pence only shook his head, more confused than ever.

Hayner didn't quite know what to make of that smile either.

"So, fall's getting here, you guys want to head to the beach before everything freezes over?"

The rest of their talking, while strained, was much easier on Hayner's nerves.

* * *

Sixth period, Hayner's free period (and the second-to-last period of the day) came about before he knew it. He took up residence sitting on the floor next to his locker, and prayed that the rest of the day would go by without a hitch. He'd done enough "owning up" for a lifetime, in his opinion, and he was completely _over_ trying to do anything else. He was emotionally drained, and his nerves were fried. All he really wanted to do was go home and pass out for five days.

Hayner sat, his head resting against the lockers behind him, looking dejectedly at his lap, trying to relax and let the time pass. He'd finally managed to find a moment of peace in the quiet hall, and though his mind was still going a thousand miles an hour, at least now it was able to do so without the added irritants of teachers and classmates.

Unfortunately for Hayner's little bubble, Olette had decided to take a "bathroom break" in order to hunt him down and talk to him.

He looked up as he noticed a pair of familiar white sandals standing directly in front of him.

Dammit.

Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Hayner unleashed the sigh to end all sighs.

"Hey Olette," he mumbled, looking away from where she towered over him and opting instead to stare blankly at her legs.

"Hey," she replied before dropping down to sit in front of him. "I know you don't want to talk about all this, Hayner, but trust me, it's only going to drive you crazy if you don't. Once again, you're not telling me and Pence everything..." she bit her lip lightly, avoiding Hayner's gaze. "It's almost like you don't trust us."

Hayner frowned.

"It's not that I don't trust you guys, Olette. I mean, c'mon, there's nothing I wouldn't do for the both of you and I know that you guys feel the same. It's just that... all of this is so crazy to me. And I know I haven't handled it right, and I don't want you guys to know about everything I've done."

"Hayner, there's nothing you could do, except maybe_ kill _somebody, that would change what we think about you. We've all done stupid stuff. Remember when I had that ridiculous crush on that one guy, Brian? How I sent him that _stupid_ letter after I'd practically stalked him for a month?" she laughed lightly at the memory, before her expression turned more serious. "I mean, I _know_ that you and Seifer have gotten... umm... _physical_... and has the way I act around you changed at all?"

Hayner gave her a small, tentative smile.

"No, you haven't. I guess... I just feel really ashamed. I can't seem to control myself around him... It's like I said before, we're either fighting or -" he hesitated at Olette's somewhat alarmed look, "- or we're doing _stuff_. It's not exactly a good thing, but I don't really know what to do about it."

"So I'm guessing something other than yelling happened this morning?" she prodded.

"Yeah," Hayner said. "He kissed me again. Twice."

"Did you kiss back?"

Hayner felt his face flush immediately.

"... Yeah. Yeah, I did," he thought for a moment. "I just... I can't help it. I'm attracted to him on some insane level."

Olette's eyes softened.

"Hayner, it's okay to be attracted to him -"

"No it's not!" Hayner hissed quietly. "It's not okay! It makes me so _mad_!"

Olette pursed her lips at Hayner's frustrated expression.

"Well, I'm going to head back to class. But seriously, you need to think about this some more. Like I said, Seifer's probably not as bad as you think he is; you're just so used to hating him that you're afraid of what any change might bring."

Hayner glared at her back as she walked away.

He'd _been_ thinking about it, thankyouverymuch, and he certainly didn't need anyone judging him about how much he'd been thinking because he'd been thinking so much that thinking was just –

Okay, brain. Shut the fuck up.

Preoccupied with his thoughts, Hayner failed to notice a pair of brown eyes narrowing at him from around the corner. The figure to whom those eyes belonged quickly turned away, huffing down the corridor toward their own class room.

Hayner sat brooding for the next twenty minutes until he decided to start heading in the direction of his next class, but as he picked up his backpack, the PA system suddenly crackled to life.

"_Hayner Aldaine, please report to the front office. Hayner Aldaine to the fron office."_

Hayner frowned in confusion before shrugging and changing plans, his feet guiding him down the hallway and toward the secretary's desk. He walked slowly, hands in his pockets, eyes distant as he tried to wipe his mind blank.

He looked up as he approached the secretary.

"Hi, I'm Hayner. I was called up to the office a minute ago?" he asked.

The woman behind the desk smiled gently at him.

"Oh, yes! Your father called and left this message for you," she said, handing him a slip of paper.

Hayner opened it carefully, hoping it wasn't some sort of fresh hell for him to face when he got home.

_Hayner-_

_The doctors want us to see Mom today. They say they've seen some improvement with a new medicine, and they think that seeing us may help her out even more. I'll be waiting for you in front of the school when you get out._

_-Dad_

The blond felt a burst of hope flood through his system. _'Mom's doing better!'_

That thought was repeating over and over in a mantra inside his head as he excitedly thanked the secretary and walked out of her office with a bounce to his step. He couldn't help the wide smile that was plastered on his face, and all of his inner turmoil was, for the moment, completely forgotten.

He was jittery all through seventh period, barely keeping his shit together enough to actually sit through the class. He had his stuff jammed into his backpack at least ten minutes before the bell was supposed to ring, and his leg was doing that annoying up-and-down shaking thing it did when he was excited.

The day was finally looking up.

When the bell rang, Hayner _bolted_ out of the class room like a horse on crack. He ran through the hallways and out in front of the school, where he scanned the parking lot for his dad's crappy blue truck.

He jogged up to the truck, throwing the door open excitedly, greeting his dad with a wide grin and earning himself a rub on the head in the process.

"He kid. Excited?" his father asked, eyes sparkling with eagerness. It was obvious the man was just as anxious to get to the hospital as Hayner was.

"Hell yeah I'm excited!" Hayner glanced at his dad, who gave him a look for the language. "Er... Sorry. But did the doctors say anything else when you talked to them?" he asked.

His dad cranked the car and pulled out into the street.

"Not much else. They just said, basically, that she's been improving... Which was a bit vague, if you ask me, but I'll take anything at this point," his father replied, features becoming more serious and faintly sad.

"I know, Dad. Me too." Hayner said quietly.

The rest of the drive was nearly silent, save for a "How was your day?" / "Good, you?" / "...Good." exchange. But that was kind of always how it had been between Hayner and his father, so the silence was comfortable, and in no way oppressing. However, there was an obvious tension in the car that grew the closer they got to the hospital.

There was a spark of hope alive in each of them, and both were silently wishing that the spark wouldn't be smothered out again.

Let it be known that Hayner fucking _hated_ Twilight Town Psychiatric Hospital. It wasn't because the walls were white and prison-like, or that everything smelled of antiseptic, because, quite frankly, that wasn't how the hospital was at all.

When you walked in, the waiting room was almost like a hotel lobby. The walls of the hallways and the patient's rooms were painted a soft cream color, and the scent of the place was neutral. The floors were all carpeted, except in the exam rooms. The patient's rooms would have resembled hotel rooms, if not for the absence of a television and the fact that all the furniture was bolted securely to the floor.

The real reason Hayner hated this place were the memories. The three years of fucking _horrible_ memories.

Memories of his mother denying his existence.

Memories of his mother pushing him away physically when he tried to touch her.

His mother sobbing

His father's one breakdown, when he'd walked from his wife's room with tears streaming down his face quietly. He'd walked right past Hayner and into the restroom, and only came out when Hayner had tentatively knocked on the door and asked if he was okay. The man's face had been dead for days after that.

His father still wouldn't tell Hayner what exactly had pushed him over the edge that day; Hayner really wasn't sure he wanted to know.

And then there was his mother's far off gaze as she looked straight through Hayner, desiring a world that wasn't there.

Hayner shoved the apprehensive feeling he gained from these thoughts down, reminding himself that this time things would be different. This time his mom was _better_, dammit, and things were starting to look up for once. Virtually nothing could dampen his spirit right now, even as his heart beat faster with anticipation.

Nothing could bother him. Not Seifer, not school, not the strain with his friends... _Nothing._

They signed in at the nurse's table, and waited with baited breath for their turn to be called back. A nurse dressed in Mickey Mouse scrubs walked in and out of the little door in the front of the room, calling back visitors and outpatients alike.

"Wyatt and Hayner Aldaine?"

Hayner and his father both rose quickly, half running up to where the nurse stood. She smiled sweetly at the both of them, leading them into a hallway.

"You're here to see Mrs. Lavena Aldaine, correct?" she asked.

"Yes," his father answered. "We were asked to come as soon as possible."

The nurse led them down the hallway before stopping in front of a closed door, resting her hand on the handle. Hayner looked at her, confused. This wasn't his mother's room.

"The doctor would like to speak with you before I take you to see her," she explained.

"Ah, I see," his father responded. The nurse knocked quietly on the door, and after a moment a squat, balding man dressed in a long white coat opened the door and smiled tiredly at the man and boy in front of him.

"Mr. Aldaine, Hayner. It's good to see you both."

"We were told that you've seen some improvement in Lavena?" Hayner's father questioned, anxious to get to the point.

The doctor's tone turned very clinical, and the smile dropped from his face.

"Last week we introduced her to a new medicine, one that has been shown to help with the symptoms of psychosis and schizophrenia. It's only recently become available, but the studies have all shown very promising results. Now that her body has had time to adjust to the medication, we have been able to note a vast improvement in her ability to perceive our reality as opposed to the one she has created in her mind. She is grounded in reality more so than she has been since she was admitted," the doctor stated.

Both father and son took a moment to take this in, each daring to hope that this would be the cure they'd been waiting for. Hayner was the first to speak.

"D'you... d'you think she'll recognize me?" he asked, trying to keep the tremble out of his voice. The doctor faced him, his expression a small frown.

"I can't say for sure. She does realize that she's not at home, and that things are drastically different from what she imagined them to be, but she remains confused as to why exactly she's here," he paused for a moment. "She's very much in denial about her sickness."

"In other words, she's still pretty out of it?" Hayner asked.

"It sounds like it, Hayner. But at least she's with _us_ instead of somewhere else. Right, doctor?" Hayner's father interjected.

"You're correct, Mr. Aldaine. I suppose you could say that she's "pretty out of it," but it is certainly not on the level she has exhibited for the last three years. She is much more in touch with reality," here the doctor paused, his eyes darting across the floor as he searched his mind for the best way to word his next statement. "However, her emotions have also been volatile due to her confusion. But that's why you're here," he let a small smile appear on his face. "We believe that familiar faces may be therapeutic, and help ground her more solidly in reality."

Hayner nodded, and turned to face his father.

"Dad... d'you mind if I go in first? ... Alone?"

His father looked at him, frowning and wary.

"Hayner... I don't know if that's such a good idea. Are you sure about that?" he asked, concern marring his features.

"I just want to talk to her a bit on my own. I... I need this, today," Hayner ran a hand through his hair before meeting his father's eyes again. "Please?"

His father sighed heavily, placing his hand on his son's shoulder.

"Alright," he agreed, his expression suddenly very serious. "But if things get too--"

"I know." Hayner interrupted, shrugging off the hand and nodding toward the doctor.

As the three of them walked down the various hallways, turning here and there, Hayner felt his heart go spastic in his chest. In one moment of hope, it was soaring in his throat... Yet in a moment of doubt, it was plummeting to his gut.

This had the potential to break him, and he knew it.


	7. Jesus Christ

**A/N:** I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I love parts of it, but other parts I feel are just not quite how I'd like them to be. But I've mulled over it for days and I don't feel like looking at it anymore; perhaps I'll come back and edit it later. For now, here it is!

Also, I added chapter titles. Each one is the title of a song that I feel pertains somewhat to the chapter. They're all good songs, and I know it's a little cheesy to do that, but the idea struck me and I felt like changing them so Nyah.

**_Crowded Elevator: 7_**

Hayner braced himself as he opened the door, trembling, and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before the plunge. When he walked in, he could feel his heart pounding in his throat. His hands shook terribly, and his breathing was ragged. His voice stopped in his throat at the sight before him.

His mother sat, facing toward the window in the room, away from the door. Hayner closed it gently behind him, and she made no move to turn toward him. Her head was slumped, and from what he could tell, her head was in her hands, covering her face from the garish rays of the sun shining in through the window.

"... Mom?" Hayner croaked, his voice catching in his throat obtrusively.

Her head snapped up, but she still didn't look at him.

"Who's there?!" she called, fear evident in her voice. "Who is it now?! What do you want?!"

The pace of his heart increased to a nearly impossible speed, pounding against his chest in the best effort to escape the confines of his thoracic cavity.

"It... it's me, Mom," he started, uncertain. He cleared his throat, and stated more definitively, "It's Hayner."

"Hayner...?" she said uncertainly, turning toward him slowly, raising her wide eyes to his face. "Oh, god!" she shouted, and suddenly stood, turning away from him and burying her head in her hands once more.

His heart slowly calming, Hayer took a tentative step toward her. His eyes softened sadly.

"It's okay, Mom. I... I'm here now," he said, steadily making his way closer to his mother. "I told you I'd come back, didn't I?"

He approached her hesitantly, and with the same gentleness he's always exhibited toward her, touched her arm.

She snatched her arm away as if bitten, throwing her body against the wall and staring at him with an expression halfway between deadly fear and terrible anger.

"No!" she screamed, thrashing her head from side to side. "No, no, _no_!"

Hayner said nothing, shocked. She paused for a moment, looking down at the floor and panting.

"Why?! What's happening to me?!" her body slumped as if she were going to fall. "I... No! I _want my little boy back_!" she wailed, grabbing her hair. Hayner saw her body begin to tremble slightly.

He had to try to get through to her.

"I am your little boy," he said, kneeling to her level, careful not to touch her or invade her space too much.

"**Stop it!**" she cried, "**Shut **_**up**_! I can't... why... why is it like_ this _now?! Oh god. Oh god!"

This time she did fall to the floor, curling into herself and weeping openly, her tears sounding in the form of her broken voice. Her body heaved with the effort, and her breath choked as she cried.

And cried, and cried.

Hayner crawled to her, and attempted to wrap his arms around her fragile frame. She shoved him away again, but Hayner was determined. She _recognized_ him. That was a start, wasn't it? He swallowed thickly to shove his heart back into it's rightful place.

"What do you mean?" he began gently. "Mom... it's okay, I promise. It's me, I swear it!"

"No!" she spat, glaring at him bitterly. "_He's_ still innocent, uncorrupted, young! I... I need _him_. You're not him... You're not _anything_ anymore! You – you're just..." she stumbled with her words, the sobs taking over her body again. "**God!** I want my _life_ back!"

Hayner shook uncontrollably.

"_You're not **anything** anymore!"_

At those words, his brain began to race with emotions so powerful they threatened to consume him. His mind faltered, and he struggled to maintain his calm long enough to save her.

There had to be hope still. If he could just _get through_ to her... Make her realize he was her _son_, that he _loved her more than __**anything**__..._

"I-It's okay, Mom," he stuttered. "Things are... are just a little different now, but I'm still your son, I'm still here, always, for you, I love you, I _need_ you-"

She only rocked back and forth, her cries less chaotic but no less tormented.

"I don't want you, I don't want you, I don't want you..." she muttered, her breath coming in gasps as she repeated the words like a prayer.

"Please, Mom," he begged, tears beginning to prickle at his eyes as he felt himself start to lose it. "Please, please stop it... _please_..."

This situation, this _pain_, was the only thing that could make him beg.

"I can't, I can't, I can't!" she shuddered, beginning to lose her breath to the sobs continuing to overpower her. "It's all gone... My life, my child... I-I... I'm so... I'm so _lost_! I want my _husband_! I want my little boy! Oh, god..."

Hayner pulled her forcefully to him.

"We're _here!_ Dammit Mom, we're here!"

"No! No you're not! It's not the same, it's not the same!" she screamed, yanking away from him, eyes and hair wild like a frightened lion poised to attack.

Hayner released her, and before he could back away, she'd reared back and threw herself toward him into a forceful slap.

The smack echoed in Hayner's ears as his head was thrown to the side, his heart hurting infinitely more than the stinging on his cheek. She attacked him, clawing at him, and he struggled to shove her off as her fingernails bit into his flesh harshly, leaving angry red welts.

Suddenly there was shouting from the doorway, and people were rushing in all around him. Hayner was lost in the stampede of doctors and nurses, lost in the his mother's cries and the collected yells of the doctors.

"She's gone off again-"

"-get the Ativan-"

"-restrained again-"

But Hayner wasn't _hearing_ any of it. All her could hear in his mind were the words, over and over and over.

"_I don't want you..."_

As Hayner walked out of the room, he was numb.

A split second later, he felt his world shatter around him.

His own heart plummeted with feelings of betrayal and abandonment, his gut wrenching in undeniable anguish as his entire body constricted in distress. His face contorted in pain, and he felt physically ill at the fresh memory of his mother falling apart, _again_ – and there was _nothing_ he could do.

And this... what had happened in there... was _so_ much worse.

She had recognized him for who he was.

But she didn't _want_ him.

Some people say that the opposite of love is hate... But at the moment, with the rejection evident from his mother's actions, Hayner was sure he'd never felt so unloved in his entire life.

The tears that had wanted to fall so desperately retreated behind his eyes; this was a pain beyond anything that crying could ever hope to heal.

Hayner collapsed onto a bench outside of his mother's room, hearing but not listening to the screams as his mother was injected with some drug, sedated and soon to be put in restraints. He barely registered his father's hand on his shoulder.

When he did feel it, he snapped.

"I'm _sick_ of this! I... I _hate _this!" he shouted, pounding his fists against the bench.

Before his father could answer, Hayner's mother called out, her voice becoming more subdued as she cried.

"Wyatt, Wyatt! Please... Wyatt..." she begged.

Hayner's father stiffened, his eyes showing evidence of the same heartbreak that was eating at Hayner's insides.

The door to his mother's room shut behind the doctors and nurses, and the cries stopped.

The squat, balding man approached them.

"She's been sedated," he said, and then paused, unsure of how to continue. "I.. I'm terribly sorry. This reaction was not what we'd predicted. But know that you did nothing wrong, Hayner. It's just that she's -"

"Shut up," Hayner ordered, glaring. "I don't want to hear it."

Wyatt looked at the doctor sternly. "Please, if you'll leave me with my son for a bit. After I speak with him, I'd like to talk to you about Lavena's condition."

Hayner marveled at how collected his father could sound in the face of the bedlam that had just taken place.

When those blood-shot blue eyes (the only evidence of his father's distress) turned on him, Hayner had to look away.

"Hayner... Son, are you okay?" he asked.

Hayner took a shakey breath. "No, Dad. I just..." he shook his head, bending in toward himself. "I don't know what's worse: when she's totally out of it, or when she knows me and... and doesn't _want_ me."

His father sat down next to Hayner, but not close enough to touch, knowing instinctively that a mixture of words and silence would mean more than a touch right now.

"I know, son. It hurts us both," he gave a resigned sigh. "Trust me when I say I know how hard this is for you. But just remember, we're in this _together_. You're not alone. You've got me, always, and no matter what... I'm proud of you for being so strong."

Hayner gave a soft, sad, bitter smile, still staring at the floor.

"I'm a lot weaker than you think, Dad."

His father frowned.

"If we didn't have moments of weakness, Hayner, we'd never learn anything."

Hayner closed his eyes, elbows on his knees as he rested his forehead against the heels of his hands.

"I know. I just wish I didn't have to deal with this... It's so _unfair,_" he opened his eyes, staring at nothing in particular. "Some kids lose their parents because they die, but I... I've lost my mom because she doesn't know me... Doesn't... _want _me."

His father was quiet for a moment.

"Hayner, your mother will always love you, and... you and I both know she's still in there, somewhere."

Hayner shook his head, tears threatening again as some of his numbness washed away against a fresh wave of pain. His fists tightened on the bench as he ground out, "She doesn't love _me, _Dad. She loves the idea of having a little kid," his eyes searched the ground, as if looking for answers. "She told me she wants me to be innocent again," his tone turned bitter. "And she knows I'm not _innocent_ anymore."

"Hayner," his father started, his voice soft, having picked up on the underlying distress in his son's tone. "Losing your innocence – it's a part of learning who you are, growing up. You'll make mistake after mistake, but if you don't grow from what you learn from them, then you'll only lose yourself to grief. You'll just feel worse about whatever you've done."

The words only worked to solidify the guilt in Hayner, the situation with Seifer suddenly weighing on his shoulders like never before. What kind of horrible person was he, to let himself go like that? God, what had he done, really? He'd totally lost any semblance of innocence he may have had left...

"I... Dad, I just need to be alone for a while," he said.

"Hayner-"

"I'll be fine, I promise," Hayner blurted before his father could say anything further. He had to get out of there _now_. He couldn't be in this place anymore.

Before his dad could even think of responding, Hayner stood and walked quickly down the hall, through the waiting room, and out into the street. He slowed his pace and breathed in deeply, trying to sort out all the painful thoughts that pumped through his mind like thickened blood.

His mother didn't want him. His own _mother_ didn't want him.

And how could he blame her? He wasn't what she pictured him to be... He wasn't a little boy, and...

And god, he was _far_ from innocent. Seriously, how could he consider himself innocent after all the fights? The way he spoke? The way he thought? And not to mention the sex, the lust, the _shameful passion_ he felt for his rival and enemy.

_'Of course she doesn't want me,'_ he thought bitterly. _'Look at what I fucking **am!**' _

Before he knew it, rage was rampaging into his mind, overwhelming him with pain, confusion, and fury. He fell to the ground, teeth grit so hard that they threatened to crack against each other. He hit his clenched fists against the concrete of the sidewalk, not caring about the confused people who stood around him.

And he screamed.

He screamed, screamed with all the built up anger he felt with fate, with himself, with his mother, with Seifer, with his friends...

He breathed in deep and fast, eyes clenched shut, and opened his mouth, and screamed again, over and over, until someone snatched him up off of the sidewalk. Hayner immediately lashed out with his fists and feet, punching and kicking at whoever the fuck had the _audacity_ to fuck with him at a time like this. He snarled like a dog gone mad, practically foaming at the mouth as he attacked again and again.

Hayner could see nothing, blinded by his storming emotions, and barely registered the blond head that whirled on him.

Nor did he see the punch aimed squarely for his gut. He did, however feel the connection.

_**'Fuck!'**_

He was shocked momentarily by the pain, and stopped fighting long enough to be dragged some ways down the road.

"What the _fuck_?!" he shouted.

"You're making a scene, chicken-wuss. I had to stop you somehow," Seifer said, frowning. Hayner could feel the underlying scorn in Seifer's tone. Hayner planted his feet and tried struggling out of the grasp that the other boy had on him, but Seifer held fast.

"Let me the _fuck_ go! Asshole! You have no _fucking idea_, you have no _**FUCKING IDEA!**_" Hayner growled, yanking as hard as he could and finally escaping the hold. But before he could even turn, Seifer had grabbed his arm and put Hayner in a head lock.

"Shut up!" the blue eyed boy snarled. "I don't know what the hell's wrong with you, but you're going the fuck home, right now!" he calmed for a moment before biting out, "Where's your dad?"

Hayner growled, before a sudden tiredness slightly pushed its way through his anger. "He's at the _fucking _hospital, okay!" he snapped back.

Seifer scowled. "And he let you leave like _this?!_ What the _hell _kind of parent is he, anyway?!"

Hayner felt the anger bubble up inside him again.

"He's a hell of a lot better than having _you_ around," Hayner tried to break the head lock, and failed. "But don't you _dare_ insult my family! Don't you think you've gotten enough sick pleasure out of taunting me about-" Hayner stopped suddenly, slumping.

Seifer released him, but quickly grabbed his arm.

"You need to shut up," he repeated. "We're getting out of here, and you're going to calm the fuck down."

Lost again in painful thoughts, Hayner let himself be manhandled down the road for two blocks, before they got on the train in silence. The brown eyed boy's expression never changed from something deeply sad; there were no words to describe that look.

* * *

Hayner was partially grateful to Seifer at the moment, because he was just now realizing that having a mental breakdown in the middle of the street was probably not the best idea he'd ever had. He was now looking forward to getting to his bedroom, finding those over the counter sleep pills, taking four and passing out for two days.

His plans were ruined as Seifer rammed the door open to his own apartment, totally bypassing Hayner's. He threw the smaller boy into the apartment before slamming the door shut and locking it behind him.

_'God dammit!' _Hayner thought, immediately pissed. He glared hard at Seifer.

"What do you want _now_?" he demanded coldly. "I'm not in the fucking mood to deal with this."

"Get over your mood, then," Seifer said, shoving Hayner down on the couch. "You need to calm down, and I'm _not_ leaving you alone when you're like this."

Hayner exploded quietly inside himself.

"And what the fuck do _you_ know about it, huh?!" his fists clenched as his eyes narrowed at Seifer. "How could you possibly have _any_ idea?!"

Seifer sighed, taking off his beanie and running a hand through his hair as he sat down on the coffee table in front Hayner. Those blue eyes stared fixedly into Hayner's.

"I don't really know anything," he said quietly, voice hard. "But _you_ can't go screaming your head off in the middle of the road. You made a total ass of yourself."

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want," Hayner hissed back, looking away sharply. "It's not like what I do matters anyway."

"Quit talking like that," Seifer growled out. "This isn't like you. You're better than this, you halfwit."

"Well just what the hell am I supposed to do, asshole?! My own fucking _mother_ doesn't _want_ me!" Hayner bit back, bitter. "How could you know what that's like, how could you ever even know _anything_ about me?! You don't know me, so just leave me the fuck _alone_!"

Hayner stood and attempted to brush past Seifer, intent on getting the hell out of there and crawling into his room to break. But before he could even take a step, Seifer shoved him back down on the couch and straddled his lap, pinning his arms down beside him.

Hayner looked into those furious blue eyes and glared defiantly, even as his heart began to pound. Seifer's proximity had the effect it always did; Hayner was blushing, the scent of the other boy bringing back memories of their bodies intertwined. He could feel the drowning sensation washing over him all over again.

"No, I do know you," he said after a moment. "You're not like this, you're stronger than this. That whole thing is fucked up, and you hate it," his eyes searched Hayner's. "That may not be much, but I do know _that_ about you."

Those same eyes dropped to a vulnerable mouth, and Hayner was struck with a distinct sense of deja vu.

But this time it was Hayner's mouth that rose to meet Seifer's, his lips seeking an angry kiss, a way to vent all the rioting emotions that had been pent up within him. He bit at the other boy's lips, tongue taking the plunge into that warm, wet mouth that he'd grown to know so well.

Seifer was having none of it. He shoved the other blond back into the couch, and leaned down to kiss him, capturing his lips in a kiss that was tender, yet far from chaste.

When Hayner tried to deepen their kiss, Seifer pulled back. Every time that Hayner nipped at the other boy's lips, Seifer retreated and retaliated by licking gently at Hayner's own. When Hayner managed to unpin his arms, he scratched harshly at Seifer's back; the blond only responded by cupping Hayner's head in his hands and kissing him more fervently.

Hayner was furious. He was frustrated, and he wanted to take out all of his aggression on the boy in front of him, yet apparently he wasn't even fucking allowed _that_. Seifer refused to cooperate, refused to be rough with him, and Hayner had reached breaking point.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream.

But all he could do was let go, clench his eyes shut, and kiss Seifer until everything melted away into the heat that was coiling in his body. If he wasn't innocent anymore, then fuck it. Seifer was offering him a way to get out of his own head, even if only for a moment.

And all Hayner wanted was to escape.

Even if he was simply running from his problems again, right now... he just didn't care.

Hayner's arms came up and around Seifer's back, pulling the other boy as close as possible as his fingers dug into Seifer's sides, squeezing harshly. He needed the contact, needed to feel _wanted_ by _somebody_. And the body above him was warm and willing, the mind inside wanting this just as much as he did.

He lost himself to passion, completely submitting to his emotions and kissing Seifer for all he was worth. Seifer's lips were soft and firm against his own, that tongue gently stroking against his. The sounds of their lips smacking together as they came together and pulled apart ignited the fire that Hayner felt inside of him each time they did this; desire came rushing through him like a wild stampede.

In the back of his mind, Hayner had to wonder why it was _this person_, of all people, who could make him lose control like this.

Hayner felt Seifer slide off him, and he clutched angrily at his back, attempting to keep him right there in his lap. Seifer only pried his arms off of him, standing and pulling Hayner up with him. The moment he was on his feet, Hayner found himself being kissed again, and never one to be outdone, he kissed back with equal fervor.

At that moment, as Seifer backed Hayner slowly down a hallway, kissing him all the while, something clicked in the part of Hayner's mind that wasn't clouded by lust and a whirlwind of feeling.

They were matched. They were equal.

In everything they did, they attempted to dominate the other, neither one ever really succeeding. They fought regardless of what the circumstance was. Sexually, Hayner had forced Seifer on his knees, and Seifer had tricked his way inside of Hayner. Physically, they'd beaten the hell out of each other time and time again, matched blow for blow. Psychologically, they'd fucked with each other and fought verbal battles that in the end came back to blows.

So whatever this was, whatever kind of fucked up attraction they had for each other, at least Hayner finally understood one thing about it.

Seifer was his equal.

He didn't know if that was supposed to make him feel better about fucking the other boy, but the thought was gone as soon as Seifer pushed him down onto a bed, nipping his neck and soothing the bites with a playful tongue.

"Don't – ah! Leave any... marks, you...!" Hayner tried, but his next words never left his mouth as it became preoccupied with Seifer's. Hayner guessed it was to shut him up, but again he found he just didn't give a fuck.

All that mattered right now was that Seifer _didn't stop_.

Hands reached under Hayner's shirt, fingers ghosting across his nipples as Seifer lifted the shirt up over his head. Those same hands gently pushed Hayner down onto his back, stroking his sides lightly as they worked their way down his body. Seifer's tongue played with his nipples, harshly biting and then soothing with kisses. Lips and a tongue were following the path the hands had made, kissing and licking slowly down Hayner's abdomen.

Seifer's mouth was sucking on his lower stomach, but his eyes were locked with Hayner's. The brown eyed boy sat up on his ebows, panting, nearly writhing under Seifer as he watched the erotic display before him.

Seifer's breath came in short, quick bursts as he pulled away from Hayner, blue eyes never leaving brown. His hands worked the button on Hayner's jeans apart, and pulled the zipper down.

There was an awkward moment as he was pulling the pants and boxers down Hayner's legs; they'd both forgotten about the shoes, and Hayner almost hit Seifer in the face in his hurry to toe them off and get his pants the rest of the way down.

Seifer apparently didn't think anything of it, simply pushing Hayner back down and spreading his legs, kneeling between them and leaning down to run his tongue from the base of Hayner's arousal to the tip.

"Ah-! Fuck!" Hayner cried, his hips bucking up toward that mouth, his eyes closed tightly against the onslaught of pleasure. Seifer took him in fully then, and when Hayner opened his eyes, he once again met those of his rival.

Seifer watched him intently as he moved his head slowly up and down, sucking lightly as he slid up before working his tongue in wicked circles over the head.

This was different from last time. Last time it had been about power, about who could _win_.

Hayner didn't know what _this_ was about.

He didn't want to know.

He didn't want to think about it.

He didn't want to think at all.

So instead he watched through hooded eyes, his breathing harsh as Seifer tortured him mercilessly, holding his hips down and going at a pace so slow Hayner thought he might _die_. Every time Hayner felt himself starting to come, Seifer would pause, continuing only after a moment had passed.

Hayner grunted his frustration and moaned, nearly pleading with Seifer to _god_, _let him __**come!**_ But he wasn't one to beg, never had been, and so could only fist his hands in Seifer's light blond hair, attempting to _make_ the other boy finish him.

It was an eternity later when Seifer finally moved his eyes from Hayner's, going to work at him full-force, _up and down_, sliding his wet, hot mouth along his length _over and over_, and Hayner could feel it, boiling in him, under the surface, _right there-!_

With a mortifying moan, Hayner came, his voice catching in his throat at the force of his orgasm. His body fell limp back on the bed, reeling from the intensity of his come down as Seifer continued sucking on his drained sex.

He barely even registered the kisses that came after, dusting their way up to his face, finally coming to a halt with a deep, demanding press of lips against lips.

Hayner opened his mouth to the kiss, his mind a total blank, feeling at ease for the first time since he'd gotten up that morning.

He only became half-aware of his surroundings once more when Seifer pulled away.

The other boy got up, milling around his room for a moment, and Hayner ignored him in favor of catching his breath and pulling himself together, trying to calm the subtle shivers dancing through him. It wasn't until he felt cloth touch his skin that he figured out that Seifer had been gathering his clothes. He'd tossed them on top of Hayner's bare chest, then walked into his bathroom, shutting the door.

Hayner sat up, confused.

Because, well, the last time, after _that_ had happened... Some _other_ things had happened.

... Were they not going to happen again?

Before Hayner could mull over this question too much (much less get dressed), Seifer walked back in, running a hand through his hair and glancing at the naked boy on his bed.

"Well? Get dressed, punk," he said simply.

Hayner nodded once, pulling his pants on quickly before struggling with getting his shirt over his head. He fumbled for something to say as he put his shoes back on, not daring to look up at the eyes he could feel burning into him.

"Um," he started, standing up and staring at the floor with a frown. He breathed out, and gathered his courage. "What about... uh..."

"It's nothing." Seifer interrupted, crossing in front of Hayner to his door. He rested his hand on the doorknob, before turning slightly. "C'mon. Your dad will be home soon, and he'll freak if you're not there."

_'What the fuck?' _Hayner thought, frown still marring his features.

Seifer was silent as he walked Hayner to his door. The brown eyed boy pulled out his keys and opened it, and when he turned around Seifer was halfway back to his apartment.

The words to stop him died in his throat.


	8. Let Go

**A/N: **Here you guys have waited like a year for this update and I give you this load of... stuff. I'm not sure what to think of it. I don't know if I'm satisfied, but I really wanted to update this story, and, well... here you go. I promise the next update won't take me nearly a year to do.

**_Crowded Elevator: 8_**

Hayner was mechanical, on autopilot as he walked through his apartment, making his way to his bathroom. He peeled off his shirt, throwing it carelessly to the floor before his hands found and fumbled with the button to his pants.

The quickly drying evidence of his time spent in Seifer's bedroom made his boxers sticky as he stripped, a reminder of everything that had just happened.

The cold of the shower knob against his heated palm didn't register in his mind as he collapsed against the side of the tub.

_Fuck._

The sound of the running water roared in his ears as a scream readied itself in his throat. He swallowed forcefully, focusing his mind on the physical act of standing if only to distract his mind from the multitude of horrors threatening to overtake him.

Finally on his feet, he took a moment to steady himself on the sink counter before glancing up and catching his reflection in the mirror.

"_I don't want you, I don't want you, I don't want you."_

Hayner's eyes shut tightly as he gripped the edge of the counter, swaying with the effort of pushing his thoughts away.

He would _not _break.

He pushed off of the counter, turning back to the shower and pulling on the lever to push the water from the nozzle of the tub out through the shower head. He stepped into lukewarm water, letting it wash over him with its gentle caress. The water soothed his exhausted body, and his mind locked down.

The motions of the shower were simple; Hayner washed his face, hair, and body slowly, taking his time and not allowing his mind to wander. He watched as the soapy bubbles rushed off his body and down the drain, taking with them all the dirt, all the _sickness_.

He shut off the water, and stepped out, naked and dripping wet, standing still for a moment, staring at the condensation that had gathered on his mirror.

_'I can't... I can't **do** this...'_

And a memory slipped out.

"_No, I do know you. You're not like this, you're stronger than this. That whole thing is fucked up, and you hate it."_

Hayner crumpled to the ground, catching himself on his hands, digging his fingernails into his palms as he closed his fists.

"How could I _not_ hate this! You fucking _prick, you fucking __**ass**_!" he whispered furiously.

Half of this shit was Seifer's fault anyway! If he would just leave him alone, leave him to deal with his _own fucking issues_, then things would be so much _easier_! That idiot claimed to like him, want to be with him, whatever the fuck else... Just... Just.... _Why_?!

Couldn't he see that all Hayner wanted, _needed_, was to be left alone? He had to overcome this by himself; this was _his_ life, _his _problem. He didn't need to be saved, much less by someone who couldn't hope to fucking understand anything about this situation.

And who gives a blow job to comfort someone? That was so fucked! Seifer was just taking advantage of the fact that Hayner was vulnerable.

_'Fuck, **vulnerable**? What is this bullshit?!'_

_'Don't lie to yourself. You were begging for it.'_

Hayner panted on the floor of the shower, water running down his face as he clenched his eyes shut.

_'Make it stop. Please, make it stop. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't do this. I can't do this.'_

The pain was overwhelming. This _ache, _this disconnection from reality was startling and it _hurt_. Nothing seemed real. This day had been so fucking long, so tiring, and all Hayner wanted to do was sleep for a week, wake up, and pretend that none of this had happened.

He picked himself up, turned off the shower, and didn't bother to towel off before he crashed into his bed, naked and wet, buckling under the pain and exhaustion.

* * *

Hayner was fading in and out of consciousness, eyes cracking open every now and then to see a blurry semblance of the world around him before closing again. He registered the vague sound of groans, but there was no latching onto any sort of reality other than the dreamless sleep and blissful blankness of his state of mind.

There was some sort of tapping, but he could barely discern it.

Knocking.

"Hayner, c'mon, answer the door. We... need to talk."

Hayner couldn't form words, even as the door gently opened, light pouring into his dark room.

There was a sudden weight next to him, and Hayner shifted in his fitful half-sleeping state.

"Hayner. Hayner, wake up."

He let out a groan.

"Hayner, you've been asleep for over twenty-four hours. You need to wake up and eat something."

He rolled over, opening his eyes to see his father's tired face above him. There were circles under the blue eyes gazing down softly at him, and his father looked so old and fragile in that moment that Hayner forced himself to wake up and listen.

He hunched his form as he sat up, bringing his knees to his chest and looking anywhere but at that face which suddenly bore no resemblance to his father. He made sure he covered his nakedness with his blanket.

"Dad... I..." Hayner's eyes darted around as he furrowed his brow, his expression becoming distressed. "What's going to happen to her?"

His father sighed, running a hand through his hair, placing the other hand on his son's bent knee.

"The doctors said that some intensive therapy will be required along with the medication they've started her on. The psychosis has died down, but her mind..." his father took a shaky breath. "She's not who she was anymore, Hayner."

The blond boy nodded, his hand clutching his dad's, and before he could stop them, tears were prickling up behind his eyes.

"I can't do this," he whispered hopelessly, a short, rough sob choking him. "I can't do this anymore, dad. I just want... I want..."

His father squeezed Hayner's knee.

"I know. But we have to be strong, Hayner. We've got to get through this. I love you, and you've got me here, always."

"Strong?" Hayner coughed. "There isn't enough of anything in the whole damn world to make me strong enough for all this," he turned his eyes on his father. "She doesn't want me. She doesn't love me. I'm her fucking son, and she doesn't want me!"

Strong arms came around Hayner, and he clutched at the warmth, desperate for anything to soothe away this horror storm in his mind.

"Shh, it's okay. Just let it out. I know it's hard, god, I know, but it'll be okay, everything will be alright..."

Hayner couldn't bring himself to believe any of those words, especially as he felt wetness against his neck, but he nodded into his father's chest, hoping, praying to anything out there that would listen, that this would all really be okay in the end.

He cried so hard that he couldn't breathe. All the anguish, all the pain, all the hurt and bruised emotion came flooding out, but it did nothing to lessen the angry swirl of thought that plagued his mind. What would happen to him? How the _fuck_ was he going to get through this? No one who knew him, really _knew him_ would ever want him.

His mom was right. He was tainted, he was broken, and no one wanted a broken person. No one wanted this flawed piece of worthless existence. There was nothing redeeming about him, not _one damn thing_.The only person who gave a damn was his dad, and he didn't know all the horrible things that Hayner had done. Hell, if his dad knew that only... How long had it been? A day? Hayner had gotten a blow job from someone he didn't even _like_ only the other day. He'd let someone touch him, fuck him, and he didn't even know that person.

He only cried harder, gasps escaping his throat as he struggled for air.

Who would want him? Seifer didn't even know him. He couldn't want Hayner.

No one could want Hayner.

But Seifer knew everything, Seifer had been there, and he still insisted that he desired to be by Hayner's side...

Lies. All of it was fucking lies!

His father held him tighter.

Hayner's mind shut down. There was no more thought, only feeling. And god, did he ever feel. Too much, too much! No more, please, _no more_...

* * *

Hayner hadn't been to school for two days after he woke up, making his absence four days. He and his dad took a break from school and work, respectively, and had spent the last few days together, doing anything to try and distract themselves from what had happened. They took walks through the streets, talking about nothing, cooked and ate meals together, and avoided other people.

Despite this apparent "rest period," both of them had slept very little the past few nights, lying awake and staring at the ceilings in their separate bedrooms.

But his dad eventually had to go back to work.

And Hayner had to go back to school.

Pence had called and left a message, and so had Olette. They were both worried, but Hayner wasn't ready to talk yet.

Maybe he never would be.

He walked the ever-familiar path down toward the elevator, his backpack slung carelessly over his shoulders. He didn't even want to _think_ about all the fucking work he would have to make up for his absence, and he _really_ didn't feel like dealing with people and their questions.

_'You're running away again.'_

Fuck! It's not like he didn't fucking _know_ that he was avoiding everything, but god, give him a break! All this had been hell on him, and it should be enough that he could get himself out of bed and to school. He didn't want to relive all this nightmarish _bullshit_ by trying to explain what had happened.

But at the same time, it was now more than ever that he needed his friends. He knew it, but... how could he face them? How could he face anybody? He didn't even feel like the same person anymore.

"So where have you been hiding the last few days, chicken-wuss?"

_'You have got to be fucking **kidding** me.'_

Hayner shut his eyes and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. Instant irritation flared up, and he could feel himself growing hot.

Seifer raised an eyebrow as Hayner turned to face him, eyes narrowed.

"What do you care, anyway?" Hayner snapped.

Seifer just rolled his eyes. "We're back to this again? Un-fucking-believable. I thought maybe it had gotten through your idiot brain by now."

Hayner stiffened.

"Exactly _what_ am I supposed to be 'getting through my idiot brain?' All I have to clue me in is the bullshit you've been feeding me for the last few weeks. All this crap about 'oooh, I like you' is getting really old. You don't know shit, you don't know me, you could never know me!"

By now Hayner's breath was coming faster, and he could feel his heart pounding as the rage that had been simmering beneath the surface over the last few days threatened to overflow. But it didn't look like Seifer was going to back down.

Who was he kidding? When did Seifer _ever_ back the fuck down?

Blue eyes narrowed.

"None of it is bullshit. I've been honest with you from the start, and all you've done is avoid me and bitch me out. You assume I don't know anything? Ha. Maybe _you're _the one who doesn't know shit. But then again, you've never bothered to give a damn about anyone but yourself, so I guess it makes sense that you wouldn't try to listen."

When Seifer made to move past him, Hayner grabbed his arm and whirled the larger boy around to face him, snarling in his face.

"How the fuck would _you_ know what I care about, huh?! And listen? _Listen_? Anything you have to say isn't worth it, because it's all _lies_!" Hayner's grip tightened on Seifer's arm as his tone suddenly became desperate. "And don't even try to deny it. You don't want me, you just want some little fuck toy."

Hayner found himself slammed up against the wall, a furious gaze burning into him.

"Lies? _Fuck toy_? Do you honestly think I would do any of that shit with you if I didn't want you? Is that what you think?"

Hayner blinked, taken aback, before regaining his anger.

"Of course it is!" he shot back.

Seifer released him, and turned away. He stopped for a moment, hesitating.

"You have no idea what you're doing, do you?"

Seifer's voice was quiet and low, and his words left Hayner confused. The bastard never made any _sense_!

"What am I doing?!" Hayner screamed, not caring that it was seven in the morning and that they were still outside other people's apartments.

Seifer turned, and Hayner noticed that the other boy was breathing harder than usual, though his voice remained relatively calm.

"You're fucking with me," he started, his eyes locked on Hayner's face, "And fuck me if I keep trying anyway."

With that, Seifer headed to the steps. Hayner watched him start to descend, stunned.

Wait a minute, who was fucking with who here? Hayner turned and stormed toward the elevator, smashing his finger into the down button, trying to calm down as he processed what had just happened.

_'What the hell does he mean **I'm** fucking with **him**? Looking at all the shit he's pulled on me!'_

But then again, Seifer was actually being honest, or so he claimed. Hayner had barely admitted to himself that he might feel something for the asshole.

_'No, there's no fucking **feeling**,' _Hayner thought, shaking his head and sighing as he walked into the elevator. _'He's just an outlet. There isn't anything else.'_

So why was it so easy for the other boy to rile Hayner up? Why did Seifer affect him so much? Why did he let Seifer touch him? Why was he so desperate for the other boy's attention that he'd found himself missing it those few days after that first time they'd made out in the elevator?

"Fuck," he whispered as questions raced through his mind.

He couldn't... could he?

_'You're running away again. Coward.'_

The voice in his mind was loud and booming. This was going to be another messed up day, he could just feel it. Couldn't things just be _normal_ for once?

* * *

Pence and Olette were both waiting at his locker when he arrive, both greeting him with a worried smile as he walked up. He didn't know why, but Hayner suddenly felt like his nerves were on edge. They were just his friends, dammit! They wouldn't bug him about anything if he asked them not to!

"Hey," he said shakily, trembling hands fumbling with his locker combination as he plastered a smile on his face. "What's up?"

Olette glanced at Pence before placing a hand on Hayner's shoulder.

"Look... I know... I know you probably don't want to talk about it, because from the way you've been absent, things probably didn't go well with..." Olette shook her head. "Anyway, I just want you to know that we're here. For whatever you need."

Pence nodded, leaning up against the lockers.

"Yeah, man. We know you're probably going through a lot, and, well... I don't know. But we're you're friends, y'know?" Pence gave a cheesy smile. "We're not going anywhere."

Hayner let out a relieved laugh, which came out sounding like a half-sob. He touched Olette's hand briefly and nudged Pence in the side.

"C'mon guys, don't get all mushy on me first thing in the morning! You're gonna make me sick, here..."

Olette whacked him on the back of the head, giving him a light smile, and Pence just laughed.

"But thanks guys. I... it means a lot." Hayner said, feeling somewhat lame. His friends were so awesome. "So, what all did I miss?"

Pence groaned. "We got assigned some crappy research paper for Lit, and god help us all in math. Talk about total screwage."

Olette laughed. "Maybe if you'd actually pay attention instead of snoring through class, you'd be able to get through it!"

They settled into an easy conversation until the warning bell rang for homeroom, each headed off toward their designated classroom. He'd see Pence in ten minutes in first period anyway.

He was barely paying attention to the droning teacher when a wad of paper suddenly landed on his desk.

_**Hey man, about Seifer. I gotta admit that I was kinda pissed when I heard you and Olette talking about it, because I'm supposed to be your friend too. You shouldn't feel like you've gotta hide shit like that from me, you know? I mean, it's a little weird, but after all we've been through, none of that's gonna scare me off. I dunno, just tell me stuff next time, k?**_

Hayner blinked down at the paper. Pence had felt left out? What?

_Sorry dude, I just figured you wouldn't want to hear about all the crap with him. I'll talk to both you guys about it from now on.I wish there wouldn't be more to talk about though. I'm so fucking sick of it._

_**Anything else happen?**_

Hayner hesitated, but then decided that if he was going to be honest, he might as well start now.

_He saw me having a break down and we did some stuff. Then we got in a fight this morning, and he's not making any sense, like usual._

_**Stuff?**_

_Like... hooking up stuff._

_**Dude, why are you still hooking up with him? I thought you didn't like the prick.**_

_I don't know. I was freaking out, I guess. _

_**You gotta make up your mind, man. You like him or you don't. You gotta quit stringing him along.**_

_I'm not fucking stringing him along! He's just messing with me! I don't even get how he could really like me. He doesn't even know me._

_**...Ever heard the phrase "know thy enemy?"**_

_Fuck you, man._

_**Look, I've been talking to Olette, and odds are Seifer is for real about this shit. You gotta make a decision, man. I know you've got shit going on, but if you'd figure this out it'd make life a lot easier for you.**_

_Alright, alright. I'll think about it some more. It's not like I haven't been thinking about it every fucking day or anything._

_**Geeze, dude, calm down. You look like you're gonna explode. Okay, I'll back off, but just think about it.**_

Hayner glared down at the piece of paper before shoving it in his bag. Pence was on Seifer's side now? What was the world coming to?

And just how was Hayner stringing Seifer along? All he'd done was sleep with him, and he'd been clear about how he felt... But he continued to do things with him... And...

Fuck.

If Seifer really did like him, then it was true that Hayner was the one being a total dick. But, shit, give him a break! How exactly was he supposed to take this drastic fucking change in their relationship, with a smile and an "okay, let's date?"

He grimaced. He couldn't imagine going on a date with Seifer. Or being in a relationship. All they'd do would be fuck and fight. Hayner didn't want that.

But he wouldn't know unless he gave it a shot, right?

Hayner shook his head at the thought. No, fuck that.

He sighed.

Dammit all, what _did_ he want from Seifer?

The rest of the day was uneventful, and Hayner didn't see the blond bully once. He was damn grateful for it, too.

He had a massive amount of work to do just to catch up, and he was _not_ looking forward to it. He skipped out on his work for a little while after school, grabbing some sea salt ice cream with Olette and just hanging out for a bit before heading home.

He was surprised at how well the day had gone, really. He'd been expecting a lot worse.

The next morning, he only glimpsed Seifer as the elevator doors closed behind him, but when Hayner got off the elevator, he saw that Seifer was actually leaning up against a wall, waiting for him.

"Walk with me," was all he said.

Hayner was instantly on guard, not knowing what to expect.

"Why should I?" he asked snidely.

Seifer sighed.

"Is it so weird to want to fucking talk to you?"

"Yeah, actually, it is."

Seifer yanked his backpack further up his shoulders.

"Are you okay after your little freak out the other day?"

Hayner stiffened.

"I'm fine," he bit out. Seifer gave him a sidelong glance.

"No you're not. You weren't at school for four days."

"What are you, my guardian?"

Seifer snorted, smirking. "Guess you could say that."

Hayner frowned.

"Why the hell do you think you're some kind of authority on me? It's not like I need _you_ to watch my back."

"Look, I don't care what you think. You need help. Just take it," Seifer said.

"I don't need your help," Hayner said caustically.

Seifer stopped walking, his hand reaching out and tugging Hayner's arm so that the other boy stopped with him.

"You're so emotionally fucked it's not even funny. You get pissed when something happens that you don't get. You can't even handle the smallest challenge without freaking the fuck out. So don't sit there and tell me you don't need my help."

Hayner snorted.

"Like you should talk. _I'm _emotionally fucked? _You're _the one who seems to think everything is solved with a blow job."

Hayner knew as soon as the words were out of his mouth that it was the wrong thing to say, especially since the memories of that experience were rushing back, making him blush.

"Fuck you, Aldaine," Seifer growled. "I saved your ass that day. Don't talk to me like you'd be better off alone when we both know that if I'd left you, you'd be twice as much of a wreck right now."

Hayner's pride erupted into rage.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't need your _fucking help_! Just leave me alone, already! God!"

Hayner began storming away as Seifer just stood behind him, watching him.

"No. I'm not gonna just leave you alone."

Hayner turned around, glaring.

"And why the fuck not?!"

Seifer gazed at him coolly.

"Because, like it or not, you want me too. You need me. So think what you want, but in the end, it all comes back to that."

"You're so fucking conceited!" Hayner growled out.

"Maybe. But I'm also right." Seifer walked up to Hayner, taking his chin in his hand, meeting Hayner's glare fearlessly before brushing the other boy's lips with his.

Hayner yanked back, blushing and spitting mad.

"What are you doing?!" he hissed. "We're in public, you moron!"

Seifer shook his head.

"Like that matters," he said, before leaning in for another kiss.

Hayner shoved him away roughly. Dammit, isn't this exactly how it would always go?

"See, look! All we ever do is fucking fight or... or fuck. What the hell kind of relationship would that be?"

Seifer shrugged.

"It'd be us," he said, before smirking. "It's like I said before, you don't want to be coddled. You need someone like _me_. You like the way we are."

Hayner turned again, picking up his pace as he walked. When he glanced behind him, he saw that Seifer hadn't moved.

"What, no comeback, Hay-Hay? Just admit I'm right."

Hayner continued walking.

"Fuck off," he muttered half-heartedly, distracted.

There was no way Seifer could be right about any of this. _No fucking way._

He walked the rest of the way to school alone, lost in his thoughts.


End file.
